Friday, December 09, 2016

Be their voice; Child Abuse Awareness Month

One Person Can Make A DIFFERENCE.

i have always been active in spreading child abuse awareness. I have always considered it the absolute least any of us can do. I wanted to re-post this post, as I want to keep it at the forefront of all our minds especially during this holidays season of hope and faith. I want to inform you all on my take, my experience, how you can help, excruciating statistics, and some graphic images.

Warning: 100% chance this post will have you in tears. I am sorry to put a damper on things but talking about it is one way of combating it.
Image result for illinois child abuse awareness

Children are innocent and precious, they are also small and defenseless. Adults have the responsibility to protect them, it is just a given responsibility you cannot say no to. But what happens when the adults in a child's life do not live up to their role? If the child is being abused or neglected, the consequences of not speaking up are extremely harmful, sometimes fatal. How can one live with that possibility on their mind?

Children are our future. Every single child deserves a good start in life. Prevention is a shared responsibility. All it takes is one more person to care, and all it takes for families to remain healthy is for people to take that ONE step! Ordinary people like YOU can change the world- because EVERY CHILD MATTERS. Being a parent is the toughest job on the planet; so try to offer your support to people who are raising children... when you see a stranger having a hard time with their child, do not look away-- smile and say, "I have been there too, it only gets easier." Because IT DOES!! Our communities are the web binding the families together, and to each other. Small steps can make a HUGE difference!

Adults need to speak up when witnessing or suspecting abuse is going on in the home of a child. Because children aren't going to do it themselves. Out of fear or misplaced loyalty to their abuser, a child often won't speak up at all- even when they're going through the most horrible pain imaginable.... why? well, they often don't speak up because they are afraid of losing the love of their abuser or the possibility of bringing more pain onto themselves.

there are many children who do try to 'run away' or get out, but are unsuccessful and only get themselves into even more pain to come...this ultimately leads them to not seeing a point in trying at all.

Of the numerous child abuse cases, about 72% involve *someone* who knew what was happening. In some of these cases, you will hear adults say "I didn't realize how bad it was" or even, "I didn't want to get involved." With every nightly news report telling of another child raped, killed or seriously injured by a person that was supposed to be responsible for them- how can anyone stay silent if they expect a child is being abused?

An abused child is damaged for life, abuse causes scars that will never go away. There are also many cases where an abused child turns into an abuser themselves once they become adults- which only serves to repeat the cycle- thus causing another generation of broken hearts and scarred minds.

It is inexcusable to allow it to continue if an adult knows of any abuse or neglect. A child may never be able to get over the fact that he or she was abused, they may carry the scars through a lifetime- but they will remember that someone cared enough to speak up and try to protect them. And, if you know of abuse and don't speak up- the possible fatal consequences to that child may be more than a conscience can handle.

While the saying "It takes a village to raise a child" is often repeated, it also takes a village to protect a child. If you notice a friend or family member is under a lot of stress or making bad choices and they're increasingly short-tempered with their child or not being as attentive to their child's needs as they should, say something.

If you know for a fact that someone you know is abusing their child, speak up!!!!!!!!!

call the proper authorities anonymously if you must. When it comes to a child's safety and well-being, even their life- don't be afraid to speak up or afraid to "get involved." Sometimes a child is saved from further abuse or neglect because someone chose to get involved, and they manage to go on and live normal, happy lives.

And then there are the children who have died needlessly, simply because someone was too afraid to get involved. Even if you happen to witness abuse while out running errands and it's a child you don't know- call the police, get a tag number and physical description of an adult- call Child Protective Services in your city

Here is some food for thought:

[ 1 ] Every day, about four children die in the U.S. because of abuse or neglect, most of them babies or toddlers.

[ 2 ] For every incident of child abuse or neglect that gets reported, it’s estimated that two others go unreported.-- think about it!

[ 3 ] A lot of people told me im an idiot for creating a petition on neglect. little do they fucken know, that neglect is by far the most common form of child abuse, accounting for more than 60% of all cases.

[ 4 ] Physical abuse accounts for between 15% and 20% of documented child abuse cases each year.

[ 5 ] 8 out of 10 sexual abusers are someone in the family or someone the child knows. You cannot trust ANYONE around your children, it's almost ALWAYS the one person you'd NEVER think would be possible.

[ 6 ] Of all prison inmates, 84% were abused as children. Same goes for drug and alcohol addicts and sex addicted female.

Do it for the children.


It's important that society no longer tolerates or turns a blind eye to abuse, if we don't protect the children, who will?

speak up, get up & do!

xox rica

Monday, November 28, 2016

Tis The Season To Be Tanning...

Winter is here! This is the season us ladies tend to hit to hit the tanning beds most frequent to maintain a glow during this awfully cold season. Tanning Beds have got a lot of flack over the years and for good reason! We all are aware of the dangers of UV rays & skin cancer & blah blah blah.. So we'll just skip all that lecturing shit and jump right into what this post is really about. So, if you are looking for an alternative solution to the tanning bed, look no further. This is a rather long post so you might as well get a snack and a six pack, and enjoy!

Million Dollar Tan- Tan Icon Extreme
Rating: 8.5
If you're in with the beauty blogging/logging world, you are probably aware this is the MOST endorsed self tanning product amongst the loveliest guru's. I love this product for the tan guard, it's spray formula, ease of use, and flawless finish. The brush allows better & more controlled blending than a glove (especially around the hands, elbows, and knees). With that said, for it being an "Extreme" tan,
it's really not that extreme... well until you shower... and then watch your tan swirling down the drain. What you are left with is still tan, just not extreme (on me at least. Keep your own skin tone in mind when comparing.... if you are really pale you might be blown away haha). Unless there is some secret to locking it in, that's why I knocked off some points. Otherwise, I do really love everything else about this product.

Million Dollar Tan- Cabana Tan Face
Rating: 10.0
When it comes to self tanners, I strongly believe for the best, streak less results, a tan guard is a MUST. This product is the exception.. and maybe it is because you can see the entire surface of your face versus the rest of your body so you can blend it better? Whatever it is, this tans my face so amazingly natural and flawless... not to mention the smell will literally drag you away into paradise. I cannot find one bad thing to say about this product, and in fact, I have become so obsessed with it I have ZERO desire to try any other face tanners. This is the STANDARD product for the face.. not the Extreme. I have fair/medium skin and it tans my face to perfection.

St. Tropez Bronzing Mousse
Rating: 9.0
So when it comes to St. Tropez versus MDT, I gave this one half a point more ONLY because of the color payoff. The color result you get (from standard variation) is almost identical to the color result of MDT Tan Icon Extreme. It is only slightly lighter.. slightly. I can't even imagine the result from the Dark variation. As far as watching it go down the drain after showering, this does the same thing... and also kind of stinks after 8 hours. I always apply my tanners before bed so it's not like I was running a marathon. The smell when I wake up kind of bothers me, but there is nothing soap & water can't fix!

Formula Variations: Oil, Lotion, Spray

L'Oreal Sublime Deep Natural Tan
Rating: 8
Straight up, this is a true dark tan.. and almost instantly. It develops quick. It is cheap, easy to obtain, and perfect if you're on a budget. A little bit goes a long way too. The only thing that bothers me is the shimmer that comes with it.. If I apply at night, a lot of the shimmer seems to be gone by
morning (thank you sheets). This DOES rub off on clothes slightly too. It claims it does not, but it does (Don't worry, it washes out). The smell is also a little too "sunscreeny" for my liking, but I am also a weirdo about smells. All & all this honestly is a great tanner for the price and availability... plus it gets ya darker than both St. Tropez & MDT.

Formula Varieties: Mousse, Wipes, Spray, Airbrush, Lotion

Available at any drug store.

Sephora Tinted Body Mist
Ratimg 7.5
Comparing this amongst the others really is not fair. As it is a "tinted mist" this is not typically meant for an all over color. I mean, I guess you can use it for that, but I personally don't think you will be impressed. I do think though it is the perfect product for touch ups or when you are running out the door. We've all been there.. put a little swanky top on to find your chest & arms are pasty as shit. That is when this product comes into play. Just spray and blend into desired areas and boom. Instant tan. Instant. (I apply 2 coats). I only gave it a 7.5 as a direct comparison to the others as an all over tanner.

Vita Liberata Rapid Tan
Rating 9.5
Okay, let me just say the ONLY reason this did not get a perfect 10 is because of the price.. $43.00 for a 3.38 oz bottle.. really?? Ain't no one got money for that! Now, that being said, this self tanner is above and beyond the rest (justifying the price tag). You INSTANTLY see results. Full color development comes after 3-5 hours, but your skin as already tinted immediately after application. The longer you leave the product on, the darker it gets (5hours is max color). I also think compared to the others, this one gives the most "brown" color. This just has an amazing formula. I love it so so so much!! This is the first Vita Liberata product I have tried thus far, but am very ecstatic about trying more!

Self Tanner Crash Course

Tan Guards: If you have ever used a self tanner, you know some come in white lotions or are transparent when applied. And then there are others that are just straight up brown-- that's the tan guard. It allows you to see exactly where you are applying (my preferred method) to prevent streaks or missed areas.

Safety: My best friend recently complained to me about how pale she was, but did not want to use the tanning bed anymore. I suggested a self tanner to her and she replied back that "self tanners are harmful to your skin.. blah blah blah," so here's the truth:

The main ingredient in self tanners is DHA (dihydroxyacetone), a propertty derived directly from the sugar cane plant. When applied, DHA reacts with dead skin cells and leaves a temporary color. DHA is 100% approved by the FDA, and there is no evidence to support it is harmful, even for you prego ladies! However, it can enhance the reaction of UV rays, so always wear sunscreen when being exposed to the sun for a long period of time... especially when using self tanners. The bottom line: DHA is not a harmful chemical, it's a complex form of sugar.

Fading: Additionally, you should know this up front: If you are looking for a self tanner that is not going to become "blotchy" or "patchy" after a few days, you're never going to find one. Ever. That's just an overall con about self tanners that is inevitable. You shed millions of skin cells daily so when your tanner starts becoming "blotchy", it's not the tanner itself, it's your dead skin cells wearing away. Your activeness will determine  how quick, and where you will start to find patchy spots. For me, I find them first on my arms (the inside part of the elbow hinge <<< is that right lol?) because of how frequently I move them. Sweat can also knock some time off your self tanner. As you sweat, it brings the tanner to the surface. So if you work out every day as I do, it will fade sooner. With that said, although a tanner last X amount of days, I tend to apply more frequently to prevent patchiness before it occurs. Ex: Million Dollar Tan lasts 5-7 days so I apply every 4 days.

Exfoliating: Although DHA reacts with dead skin, you want your epidermis (outer layer) to be even and free of impurities. Exfoliating before any tanning in general is very important to ensure an even tan. Exfoliating prior will help make your tan last longer too.

Removal: If you have ever used a self tanner, you know trying to remove it is a pain in the butt,  especially if you have neglected your tan and are starting to look like you have a skin disease from the splotchy areas. We've all been there, right?! Fortunately, I know of a few methods to help. The first I stumbled upon by complete accident when I was testing eye shadow swatches on my arm. I took a makeup remover wipe and started wiping the swatches off (not gentle, but not too forceful either, just enough pressure) and noticed my tanner began lifting off my skin as well. I was about to shower and exfoliate all my tanner off anyway so I just kept going until the wipe became dry. I mean, this didn't completely remove it, and I wouldn't recommend this method entirely on its own, but it made my exfoliating process so much easier and more effective. It's like it had already done half the work and lifted most of it to the surface. So ever since, I do a quick rub down with makeup remover wipes before the 2 methods below.

The next method is by creating a lemon & baking soda paste. Both contain agents that will help lift the tanner to the surface and remove dead skin cells. The final method is just by straight up exfoliating. My go to exfoliator is by St. Ives  applying vigorously until most of the tanner is gone. You will never be able to fully remove it, but I repeat until it's pretty darn close. Using an exfoliating glove or loofa will enhance the efficiency in both these methods.

Are you all tanned out not?? Ready.. set.. get tan!!

Have you tried any of these products? What are your favorite self tanners?


Wednesday, November 16, 2016

green jello theory xx

i have been a writer my entire life. i try to consistently behave with as much class, style & humor in every situation, but as always we as human beings have a tendency to slip off the path we want.. regardless it is safe to assume that no matter where i go, no matter who i meet, i find inspiration in everything. the work place is no exception to this.

i observe what is around me at all times, because i think it's important to be weary and expect the worse while hoping for the best;; & i try to interpret the deeper meaning behind what I see. popular society tells us that most of us are fuck ups. losers, good-for-nothing sluts.. & because following what every one else thinks is the safe thing to do, many people blindly support this fact and immediately assume there is no deeper meaning to a girl who hasn't been able to hold a job lately. this is very wrong in many more ways than one.. but rather than getting into those reasons i have formulated something a bit more easier to interpret.

Fellow "fuck ups, losers, and sluts", get ready for a Felicia theory that would probably make a licensed psychologist roll his/her eyes.. as I have seen one and that's the exact expression i received.

the most inner layer of a person involves the morals, or the system of ethics which is unique to each person. Some girls can’t even get naked in front of their own boyfriend much less an entire crowd of strangers. I am thankful to be capable of both... sort of. not in the way you think.. there's been times when i've had to do photo shoots that made me wear little to nothing and i have no problem doing so in front of the entire group of people on the set. I just think in today's society, that is considered OK.

The next layer is the self esteem, which has to be strong in order to endure the pain inflicted by the outside world. it is hard, like an egg, but can be cracked if the correct pressure is applied. this is the reason people make bad decisions… their morals leak and they become hollow inside. they just stop caring...

On top of self esteem, there is the layer in which love, hate, and all of the emotions thrive. This is a very active area of someone’s mind, with many ups and downs and twists and turns. It is very honest, but gets filtered through the fourth layer......which is our invisible screen. This layer weeds out what is worth the trouble and what isn’t. The meaningless, stupid aspects of life are too big to slip through, like waiting longer than normal at a red light or overpaying at a restaurant. Sure they get your attention when they bounce off your defenses, but it’s nothing compared to the real issues in life. Getting married. A DWI. Receiving a thoughtful gift. These things slip right through the barrier and begin reeking havoc on your emotions to the point where they are purged in the form of tears, laughter, complete bullshit, etc.. Is there anyone out there who is truly honest with him or herself? Probably not. I make an attempt to be as true as possible, but I often find myself full of doubt. This doubt is something I never display on my most outer level, or how I present myself to the world.  This is also true for the most beautiful girls. They get so caught up with being hot that the slightest rejection from any person blows their screen into a thousand pieces. This leads to feelings of vulnerability that are very dangerous to the psyche.

To combat this, I picture the words of every person stuck in a big blob of green jello.yep, jello.

Compliments. Insults. Negativity. All of it is incapable of influencing my bottom layers and that is how I have survived this world for so long. I do not let it consume me. Of course I also push away most people who attempt to get close to me, but that is not entirely because of this green jello thing. People have seriously disappointed me in the past and I have trouble with forgiveness. Anger has been overwhelming my emotions lately and it’s about time I got rid of it. Crying doesn’t work. Neither does punching stuff or venting to a friend. I am able to weaken the emotion, however, by writing. When I am putting words together, nothing about the world is ugly. In fact, it is truly breathtaking.

I guess this is my way of saying I will never, ever stop writing. I can write about whatever I want whenever I want and the more people I piss off, the stronger I become.

Bring it on.

xox rica

Monday, September 19, 2016

taking the next step in a relationship

after reviewing some of the comments left on a status of one of my amazingly beautiful friend's face book page, Monica, i thought I'd post an entry of my own thoughts on the situation being on...

                                              particularly, taking it to the next level.

when it is time to take it to the next step and move in with the person who knocked you off your feet? personally, i think this thought shouldn't even be considered until after the one year mark.. preferably after the 2.5-3yr mark, but we all know that isn't always the case. we know the first year (and this is based off of you seeing this person at LEAST four-five times a week, any less doesn't really constitute), is the 'honeymoon' phase, and of course it's going to be all smiles and lovey dovey trips of 'omg he's oh SO amazing.'

my personal thoughts when it comes to taking it to the next step in a relationship? expect the best, but be prepared for THE WORST. If there is one thing to expect when moving in with your boyfriend, it is that not everything will be as you expect it, and not everything will be as you want it.. you must absolutely understand this. i cannot stress it enough!! along with the benefits of being able to share a home together, there are also possible risks to consider. And I would recommend ALL women should take time to assess the risks and benefits before you take the plunge.

first lets talk about the reasons one might want to do this. maybe you're tired of paying rent when you're always at your boyfriend's apartment (or for my young grasshoppers, wanna get out of your parents dungeon), or maybe you just feel it's finally time to move on to the next level in your relationship. well one good thing is, you will def save money. it seems like spending most of your time together would be the same as living together, but it's much different. Like any roommate, your sweetie is going to do things that annoy you, whether it's leaving the cap off the toothpaste or watching TV till 2 AM. dating is all fun, but living with someone takes work. Who is going to clean the bathroom? How are the bills going to be divided? you might think half is even.. but what is he's one to leave the lights on all the time, or if she does laundry every single day.. or if he orders pay per view movies all night? you must be considerate of the bills, of everything.

i am really not trying to discourage any of you females to decide against moving in, I'm really not. in fact, i think taking this step is one of the most amazing steps for a relationship. it really puts your relationship to the test, and shows just how much you two can handle. my boyfriend and i gained aloooooooot of strength when we took this step. all i am saying is it will not be all rainbows and butterflies, and i want you all to consider the thunderstorms that are sure to come, before you make the step and worse, before you make the step and are unable to jump back into undoing it.. =/

as stated above, i personally moved out at a Super young age, into a place with my boyfriend of then three years. i was super excited about it. i mean come on, what 16yr old was living with her first love in a 3bed/2bath house with a large yard (perfect for tanning hehe) by ourselves? we got two dogs, one kitty, and we truly felt like a family. it was amazing.

But then..

problems began. one of my big problems was that i definitely got caught up in the details of running a household. i set my weekends out for doing things like laundry, yard work, etc..  we had our own ways of cleaning things, when to do chores, i liked to maintain cleanliness as opposed to his style of living how he wants, and doing a thorough cleaning every few days.  then came the comments such as "i already got a mother, stop acting like mine!" which pissed me off to no end! lol

now onto some things that will definitely change in the relationship.....

a.) becoming too comfortable. you can expect that he will "let his hair down," so to speak, or, in other words, he will start leaving his socks around the place. This is not so much because he expects you to pick up after him, but because he may feel he no longer needs to try to impress you by keeping the place neat and clean.. i got kind of lucky because my then boyfriend was just as much a clean freak as i am. lol

b.) his boys/her girls. expect that his friends might be over when it is not convenient to you, as when you are just about to get out of the shower, or when you have to get up early the next morning for work. this was a biggie in my relationship, i couldn't tell you how many times i came running to my room wit a towel around my body all to scream my lungs off when i ran into one of his boys. eek.. talk about awkward! Good thing it was winter & I was wearing a towel, because during warm weather months i usually dry off in the bathroom and walk to my room naked! lol

c.) personal stuff. i would say put away anything you don't want him to see. Maybe you have some photos of old boyfriends or letters to/from exes. I personally ripped up every picture I had that either was of my ex, or reminded me of my ex. I just did not want to recall anything about his abusive bitch ass.  this is very crucial. i don't think you will ever understand the damage it can cause until it happens to you, having your future partner seeing anything intimate like that. Before I ripped up the pictures/letters etc I considered mailing them to my ex. But then I thought.. what is the point? I do not need to give him anything to make him miss me. I know he will miss my warmth, my love, my loyalty, and generosity. I want to become a memory to him. I do not want to give him things to remember me by.

d.) finances. sit down with him and discuss finances -- who will pay what, etc? are you going to combine bank accounts? Whose name will the utilities be in? Figuring all of this out before moving in together will make your moving in much smoother.

e.) routine. work out a routine. plan out how you will will handle chores around your house/apartment. What happens when you get home from work and there is no food to eat? Do you cook even when it is not your turn to cook or do you just do what makes sense -- prepare something for both of you? these may seem minute, but it really can cause little fights.

these things really add up. this is just my experience. as stated before, i really don't want any of you to change your mind about moving in just based on what i am saying.

i'm not trying to scare you. however if you really think these can be potential problems, then perhaps you two should try to work them out before they become a problem. 

I am really just trying to bring everything back to reality, hope for the best, but expect realistic things. It is not all going to be roses and sunshine. Expect to work through your problems and disagreements together.

Most importantly it is good to realize that compromise is important. communication is key. you have to work at it for it to be a success. I mean hey, how bad can coming home to flowers on your dresser be?? hehe :)

oh, &; i almost forgot. for those of you who make this step but then find out its not working out.. don't be like me and not have a plan B. it's a good idea to set aside some money for a future rent deposit, just in case things don't work out. Make sure, also, that you really can see yourself living with this person till your lease runs out. You don't want to be forced into a situation of living with someone just because you can't afford to move out! have an exit strategy planned just in case this happens to you... its VERY VERY VERY important.. from personal experience!!! I learned the SUPER hard way!!!

good luck my little lady bugs!

xox rica

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

fall is in the air .. xx

Fall is my favorite season.

It's very similar to Spring, just instead of cold easing into warm, it's warm easing into cold. In most cases, Summer puts up a good fight at the end trying to stay longer throughout the days.. but Winter truly gets its revenge in Spring when we should be expecting warm sun and get sun but no warmth.. Springs lately have been so cold it is as if it goes from Winter to Summer. However, Fall is beautiful. It has such a beautiful transformation. The changing leave colors are amazing to see. Then by the time the snow hits, the trees are naked and it looks a whole lot cleaner, i think any way.

Pumpkin Flavored.. EVERYTHING !!

Is it really a surprise that when I say I love fall that that also means I love pumpkin spice anything? I also loveee cider mills.  You can go to cider mills to
pick apples or pumpkins. Soon enough we can also head through corn mazes and haunted houses, and munch on caramel apples and donuts. :) To be honest, anything pumpkin makes me drool. Pumpkin pies, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin spiced lattes, pumpkin cream cheese and bagels from Trader Joe's, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin Jamba juice smoothies, everything pumpkin is sooo delish!

Fall Colors

I love the colors of autumn, the smell of burning leaves that people make a bonfire of in their gardens, the crunchy sound the leaves make when you walk through them and when you get those beautiful Indian summer days at times in the autum

Farmer's Markets.

I LOVE famers markets! One went on last weekend in the town next to me, and I just love being able to take advantage of some fresh (and cheap) summer harvest fruits and vegetables. It's a great way to eat healthy, maybe grab some for home for a future dinner or salad, and not to mention it’s also a great way to support the local farm industry as well. 

Sonny Acres.
Yes it's mainly for children, but one of  my favorite things to do there is the haunted hay ride. It's best to go at night time, on a full moon w/cloudy skies to add to the suspense. i also loooove Halloween decor. i love glitter!. my pumpkins-- i pick the medium sized roundest ones & transform them into amazingly glittery masterpieces lol

Football Season !!
well, not for everyone but football is defff my favorite season so of course im going to plan a great event around it. ot has been so long since I have seen them at soldier field nut  must this season.

Apple Orchards!
I have never been to one in my life, but I am so excited to do so! just imagine . We had so much fun having competitions on who can get the most apples, we got apple cidar for soooo cheap, and drank hot chocolate like it's going out of style-- We took soo many pictures and I just am so excited to get them into my scrapbook.

Fall Fashion 
another favorite of mine is deff the fashion this season. the sweater, vests, scarfs, boots, uggs, Oh my I can go on and on :)

Arent these booties to. die. for? They were on sale at this new shoe port on north avenue in villa park for only $39 !!! Since I bought 4 pairs of shoes, I got 25% off. This is legit my new favorite show store next to online ;-)

As much as I love bathing suits and shorts, it is nice to get back into cozy sweaters and scarves. It's so fun to see other fall outfit ideas to see what I can come up with out of my closet. I love the knee high boots, the scarves, and the purses. I love wearing sweater dresses and mittens; leopard print, plaid, patterns.. dark purples and reds, oranges and browns; penny loafers, camel coats, longer hemline.. All of it!
Oversized Sweater and Leopard Pumps

the boots, with tight pants, and long knit sweaters. I love adding layers. Big oversized purses, and long loose waves. IDEAL for fall. 

These two images are perfect examples of ideal fall wear

I also love collecting fall leaves, I store them in my big dictionary so they are flattened and then use them in an envelope to look at. i love baking fall desserts, brewing cider, raking leaves into big piles and jumping into them ;]

Felicia Marie ... *

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Hair Tips Article!

 Hey girls!

I did NOT write this, but rather came across an article on Style Max, and thought these were some of the best tips to receive about your hair! Please review them, I do not disagree with a single one!It is a long list, but the top 100 best pieces of advice you will receive regarding hair, I promise!

1. Don’t brush your hair when it’s wet. Hair is more susceptible to damage when it’s damp than when it is dry.

2. Not all hair brushes are created equal for every hair type. Stick to wide-tooth combs if you must detangle damp locks (obviously not ideal) or boar bristles to distribute oils.

3. Treat your hair to a deep conditioning masque once or twice a week. Depending on the ingredients used, these products provide a rush of hydration (even more so than the average conditioner) and nutrients that repair and nourish the hair shaft.

4. Use a diffuser to evenly distribute the heat from the blow-dryer in your hair, so that you’re not forcefully drying out one section of hair.

5. Keep the blow-dryer a good six to eight inches away from your scalp to avoid burning or stripping the scalp of essential oils.

6. Practice giving yourself head massages to improve blood circulation and to exfoliate dead skin cells from your scalp.

7. Scalp exfoliation is essential to remove dirt and debris from your scalp, as well as flakes that look like dandruff but aren’t. Use a scalp exfoliation product to foster a better environment for hair growth.

8. Know the difference between dandruff and dry flakes. Dandruff is sebum and product build-up combined with bacteria and sometimes a production of yeast, while dry scalp is essential dead skin cells being sloughed off from, well, being dried out. Treating these two things require two different processes.

9. Treat dandruff with dandruff-specific shampoo you find at the drugstore, just remember not to overuse the product. You don’t want to switch your dandruff problem to a dry scalp problem.

10. Naturally treat dandruff by working tea tree oil to your scalp and rinsing out. This specific oil has a strong anti-bacterial element that fights what could be causing the overproduction of skin cells.

11. Baking soda works for dandruff, too. Create a paste of baking soda and then rinse it out in the shower. This will help absorb the excess oil. As a rule, baking soda helps balance pH of your skin—and news flash, your scalp IS your skin.

12. Scalp health does affect your hair, as the oils found on your scalp are meant to be distributed down the hair shaft, but if that area is lacking, your strands may suffer, too. Give your scalp a treat by using a moisture-enhanced shampoo.

13. Untangle your hair from the bottom instead, working your way up to eliminate breakage.

14. Getting trims every so often won’t make hair grow faster, but it will help hair from further splitting down the hair shaft.

15. Use a heat protectant spray to prevent your heat tools from scorching your hair, damaging the hair shaft and removing needed oils from your hair.

16. Heat from styling tools isn’t the only thing you need to worry about. Like your skin, the sun’s UVA and UVB rays can damage your locks by drying out your hair, damaging the structure of the cuticle. Once that cuticle is damaged, UVA rays, specifically, can damage the inner fibers of the hair shaft, one being where the pigment is held called the medulla. The sun can warp the color in this layer since the cuticle is damaged—i.e your protective barrier. This explains why you see so many hair dye jobs going bad when too exposed to too much sun. Many sprays and hair protectants include substances that work as UVA and UVB protectants.

17. Experts say that fine and curly hair is more susceptible to sun damage, so if this is your hair type, be sure to use products that block those rays.

18. To further protect your hair from the sun’s harmful rays, try physically covering your hair with a hat.

19. Another pool essential that has harmful effects to your hair? Chlorine. It dries out hair because it removes essential oils (the stuff that keeps your hair hydrated) and the chemical deposits can fade or change the hue of color-treated hair. Wear a swim cap to prevent your hair from meeting up with this chemical.

20. Before heading into the pool, jump in the shower and soak your hair with water. Your hair will absorb the fresh water, essentially not leaving any room for your hair to absorb as much of the chlorinated water once you dive in.

21. Give your locks a boost of moisture before jumping in the pool by applying a rich oil like coconut oil or olive oil. These substances will also leave little room for chlorine absorption and since they’re of a rather thick, oily consistency, they won’t wash off right away.

22. Follow your swimming activities with a quick rinse of your locks, too. This will prevent the chemical deposits from sitting in your hair, further warping the color and drying them out.

23. Want an at-home clarifier? A mixture of one part apple cider vinegar and 4 parts water is said to help remove chlorine that can damage your hair and your hair color.

24. Make a baking soda paste by putting in one tablespoon of the product in a cup of water and working its way through your hair. This will also help remove the chlorine.

25. That carbonated water in your pantry? Keep it! Carbonated water also works as a clarifier, removing product build-up and chemical deposits from your hair. Just rinse in through your hair like you would when you’re showering.

Heat Styling

26. Practice blow-drying your hair with a cooler setting if you don’t need the heat to hold a style. The cool air is less likely to prevent heat damage to your locks.

27. Air-drying your hair is a great option to give your hair a break from the heat, but remember to be gentle when rubbing the towel through your hair. A vigorous shake with the towel on your damp hair could cause breakage.

28. Never straighten or curl wet or damp hair. When your hair is in this state, it is at its most vulnerable. The heat can penetrate the hair cuticle and wreak havoc.

29. Showering in super hot water can damage your hair by opening up the cuticle of the hair, leaving it susceptible for major moisture loss. Keep the water cooler or stick to what experts suggest as luke-warm.

30. When rinsing product out of your hair, use cold water. This is said to help close the cuticle, trapping some of the good-for-you ingredients of the product and moisture in your tresses.

31. For a gentler hair-drying experience, pick a ceramic hair-dryer, which minimizes the damage caused by direct heat of traditional blow-dryers.

32. Another hair-dryer option is to use a tourmaline product, which emits the same type of less-damaging heat as ceramic dryers but also emit negative ions, which break down water droplets quicker.

33. If you have fine or damaged hair already, experts claim you should allow your hair to air-dry about 80 percent before using the tool.

34. Since it’s not good to concentrate on one section of hair for TOO long, try moving your blow-dryer simultaneously with your brush or turning your round brush as you blow-dry, switching up which sections actually feel the heat.

35. Change up the heat of your blow-dryer by “pumping” shots of cold air into your hair to cool your locks down.

36. If you live in an area with a ton of mineral deposits in the water, try investing in a water filter that blocks those substances from trickling out of the spicket and into your hair.

37. Curling irons cause hair damage, too—and probably more so than just your average blow-dryer. Be sure to not lose track of how long your hair is wrapped around the barrel—this heat can actually burn your hair.

38. Keep curling iron heat between 300 and 400 degrees so that you can temporarily change the proteins of your hair without drying your locks out.

39. Suffering from dry ends? When curling your hair, try to keep them out of the clamp or left out from being wrapped around the iron. You don’t want to dry them out even more.

40. Spray on a heat protectant before applying a curling iron. You don’t want to soak your strands but lightly spray any area where your hair will be touching the direct heat.

41. When taking your hair out of a clamp iron, gently let go of the clamp—about half way so your hair can slip through—and pull the device down slowly. This will prevent you from yanking out your hair while trying to remove it.

42. Ever notice all the stray hairs on the counter when you’re done straightening your hair? When using a straightener, glide the clamp down the hair shaft instead of “pulling it” to prevent hair breakage.

43. Try to give your hair at least two days off a week from heat-styling. It deserves the break!

44. While your hair deserves the break, hair types handle styling in different ways. Chat with your hairstylist about an ideal schedule for your specific hair type to really get the lowdown on what will aggravate it.

45. Start off the week with a blowout, transitioning each day to hairstyles that don’t require much heat, like braids and fun ponytails.

46. Get curly hair without heat by braiding damp hair and sleeping on them.

47. Try fabric rags, foam rollers, or Velcro rollers that create overnight curls or soft waves without any heat.

48. If you wear your hair up often, try not to create super tight ponytails or buns that pull at the hairline all the time. This can cause breakage straight from the root, and in extreme cases, hair loss.

49. Sleep in a silk scarf or on a silk pillowcase to avoid breakage and tangles. This is also a great tip for preventing wrinkles on your face!

50. Nix the 100 strokes a day habit—it really only gives your hair more of a chance to break.

51. At-home tricks can help you determine if your hair is damaged or not. To see if your hair is strong, gently pull on the strands. If they snap easily, experts say you should avoid using super strong chemicals on your hair, like bleach.

52. To see if your hair is fragile, experts suggest you study your curl pattern or texture. If it differs throughout your head of hair, your hair may be in a fragile state.

53. To detangle teasing, use your hands to separate strands and hit the shower before attempting to brush it out. Using a detangling spray or watered-down conditioner should help loosen up any knots.

54. Try to wash your hair every other day at the very most if you can get away with it. Excess washing can dry out hair, create build-up of chemicals, and worsen some dry scalp issues. How often you wash your hair really depends on the hair type, though. Thick hair that’s normal to dry can go longer, while those with fine, oily hair may need to kick the washing up a notch.

55. If you have extensions, make sure you’re regularly detangling at the root to avoid matting.

56. Try to avoid wearing extensions that are applied via a weft into your hair in extremely tight ponytails often—they can pull from your root.

57. Those with dry hair and scalps should try “cleansing shampoos” specifically made for dry hair that gently clean while pumping in moisture without weighing your hair down.

Chemicals and Ingredients

58. Stay away from sulfates. These chemicals, commonly found in hair products, are the reason your shampoo lathers and creates those suds. They may cause irritation, be drying, and fade hair color in some.

59. Parabens don’t have a great reputation either. While it is not confirmed and more research is needed, the preservative found in beauty products, specifically shampoo, has been said to be possibly linked to some cancers and disturb hormone activity. If you’re unsure of this component, you can find a paraben-free formula, too.

60. Silicones are found in many conditioners, but for some, they can build-up on the hair, and some claim they may prevent nutrients from getting into the hair shaft. If this is a concern for you, search for silicone-free products—you’ll be surprised to find out how many there actually are.

61. Alcohol-based and products high in fragrances aren’t great, either. Often, they dry out the scalp (when in shampoos) and the hair you’re cleansing. If you notice your shampoo is a bit drying, see if this could be the case.

62. Look for products with natural oils that induce the scent instead of man-made alcohol-based fragrances.

63. The amount of shampoo depends on the type of product you are using, so always read what the bottle suggests on the directions. However, fine strands or short hair may need less of a formula than thick, super long hair.

64. Experts say that a good rule of thumb to figure out how much shampoo to use is to apply a quarter-sized amount of shampoo and conditioner to your hand and work it through your locks.

65. While you’ll definitely want to concentrate heavily on the scalp, you should be applying your shampoo from root to tip, massaging gently on the scalp to avoid irritation.

66. Keep conditioner placed from mid-length to the ends of your hair—concentrating on those ends is key. Too much conditioner on your scalp could cause build-up and an excess of oils where your hair naturally already creates them.

67. There’s a reason your shampoo or conditioner always runs out before the other. Not everyone needs to wash or condition their hair at the same rate. Don’t force yourself to use more product just to stay at the same product pace.

68. For hair that needs moisture and just a light cleanse, try a cleansing conditioner that removes debris and build-up but really targets hydration.

69. Use a deep hydration mask once a week for a burst of moisture.

70. Apply a dry hair oil, like argan oil or marula oil, that absorbs quickly to your damp hair and let it air-dry for a protective, moisturizing, and reparative treatment.

71. Try products that aim to condition and revive the keratin in your hair, the protein building blocks contained within your hair that gives it elasticity and strength.

72. Keratin treatments, where keratin and other chemicals are combined to soften and straighten your hair, may give you the texture you desire, but they often require very high heat and some contain not-so-great chemicals like formaldehyde. Look for a version that’s formaldehyde free and talk to your stylist to see if your hair is up for the process.

73. To avoid all costs with chemicals, switch over to an organic hair care line and check out the ingredients lists of your favorite products.


74. Try applying a product enriched with coconut oil to strengthen or moisturize hair after color-treatments or a day out in the sun.

75. Marula oil—this extremely light hair oil is filled with antioxidants and fatty acids to give strength and build your hair back to its healthy state. It’s also great to apply to dry ends.

76. Tea tree oil is very soothing and an anti-bacterial, found in some shampoos to cleanse as well as to provide relief to the scalp.

77. Black seed oil is pretty much a newbie when it comes to hair oils, but the Kardashians swear by it for shiny, hydrated hair.

78. Avocado oils are huge in fatty acids (replenishing lipids to protect your hair) and vitamin E (antioxidant superstar) and are found in many conditioners.

79. Look out for olive oil, a hydrating ingredient that’s often found in conditioners. It’ll really saturate your hair with nourishment and make it really shiny, but you’ll want to rinse it out thoroughly, as it’s extremely thick.

80. Try a sheet mask for your hair, formulated with keratin and collagen.

81. Create DIY hair masks using recipes that call for common ingredients found in your kitchen, like olive oil, coconut oil, honey, avocados, baking soda, aloe vera oil, and even bananas.

Hair Color

82. When going in for a drastic color change, like super dark to extremely light blonde, consider asking your colorist about Olaplex, a treatment which prevents breakage by acting as a barrier between the bleach and your hair.

83. Double processing takes a toll on your hair, as it first involves bleaching your current hair color to get it to the one you want. Spread these salon visits out to avoid your hair screaming for some TLC.

84. Minimize washing after coloring your hair—this process may have already caused some breakage as well as dullness and striping natural oils could be less than beneficial.

85. Want a color that leaves as little damage as possible? Consider going darker, which often puts less strain on your hair.

86. If you’re going platinum blonde, remember to regularly mask your hair in coconut oil to seep as much hydration back into your hair as possible.

87. When bleaching your hair, apply bleach to the root last to minimize breakage at the roots. You don’t want permanent fly-aways!

88. Drink water to keep yourself hydrated but also to keep your body functioning its best for healthy hair growth.

89. Eat plenty of protein, like fish or chicken, to keep your hair strong.

90. Caffeine has been linked to hair growth when applied topically. Try products that include this specific ingredient!

91. If you’re experiencing a noticeable amount of hair loss, talk to your doctor to target the cause, as it could be a sign of a bigger issue.

92. Stress and hair loss have been linked, so keep in mind your stress levels, the effects you’re feeling because of them, and practice healthy control mechanisms to keep your body in check.

93. Head to the salon with dirty hair, as bleaching will dry out your hair and you don’t want to further strip it before going in for an intense process.


94. Eggs are a solid source of protein and reportedly contain biotin within the yolk, which is an ingredient that promotes hair growth.

95. Because of the zinc they contain, oysters have been said to be a good food to eat for hair health.

96. Dairy products, like yogurt and milk, are rich in calcium, a key factor in strengthening your hair.

97. Spinach is high in iron and in B vitamins for long, shiny hair.

98. Need a quick work snack? Walnuts contain protein and omega-3, which is beneficial to hair health, while almonds contain biotin.

99. Consider taking supplements with biotin in them to strengthen your hair, allowing each strand to grow longer without breaking.

Hair Facts
100. Hair not growing as fast as it once was? Experts say that your hair growth cycle can change as you get older, often becoming slower. Thinning hair is also common as you age, however the growth phase of your hair is also largely based on genetics.

101. Healthy hair, when wet, can stretch to 30% it’s length – precisely why we told you above to not brush it when wet – no one wants to snap their hair off when it’s stretched this much!

Read more at :

xx Fee

Friday, May 27, 2016

steady on my grind

a true hustler n.e.v.e.r stops. not for one second. she is steady on her grind.

i am all too familiar when it comes to being on my grind. i have always had to be. i work hard for the money i get. most don't ever think about what i have to do to take care for me and mine. i am always on my hustle, trying to gain it all and not miss out on any opportunities. i can tell you right now, very few are able to do this. not every one is set out for hustling.

I feel very blessed to have walked various different roads of life thus far. i have had the chance to work with & for some of the most amazing people, of all class and stature. i have gained so much experience that is very beneficial to me career wise as well as personally. Not to mention how great it feels to be enjoying this success in the worse economy this country has ever seen since The Great Depression!!

i'm getting mine -- are you getting yours!?

i'll tell you right now there will be people around you who want you to fail. in fact, they will do every thing in their power to do so just to make sure you do not exceed them. i've dealt with it first hand. "how can some one else's success bring pain?" You have to keep moving though. you have made the decision to get on that road, put the keys in the ignition, and start the car and go. It is your foot on the accelerator. You determine how fast you want to go. The question is – how soon do you want to get there?

If you have something you want to do or somewhere you want to go then hit the gas, pedal to the  medal. just.... make sure you have extra gas in the tank. ;] Make sure you have your course plotted and planned and an alternate route in case there is trouble along the way. When you have done all that – smash on the accelerator.

It is the only way you are going to get where you want to go before everyone else.... with time to spare.

i'm sure all my readers have been able to tell that im from chicago, with out having read my profile of course. the way i talk, act, write, and most of all the way i hustle all have ChiCaGo written all over it. lol I've told many people that if there's one thing I learned, it's that to live there you have to be a hustler.

you have to plan while others are playing. you have to study while every one else is partying. you have to decide when every one else is delaying. you have to prepare when others are day dreaming. you must begin when every one else is procrastinating. you must be persistent when others are giving up. you must listen while others are speaking. you must save when others are wasting. && most of all, you must W.O.R.K. while other females are W.I.S.H.I.N.G.

"if you had one shot; one opportunity to seize everything that you ever wanted; one moment--would you capture it or just let it slip?" 

there are times in life where you make a decision to move and make moves or stay where you are and let the moment slip. The challenge to this scenario is that we don't usually see the opportunity until it has... well, passed. believe it or not, your brain is powerful enough to take in a lot of info if you teach is to filter out the negative!

that is all.

xx rica

Friday, April 15, 2016

what means the world to you?

loyalty && respect are the two most important elements to me. 

not to be confused with my most important tangible objects, people, or responsibilities. i read everyone && pay attention to things you wouldn't. i have an eye for observing && a knack for uncovering things people tend or try to hide. i study EVERY ONE. i like to know as much information as possible about someone, and i gather this information just from reading you. you spill out a lot about yourself with every movement you take && every comment you make. the type of clothes you wear and car you drive say a lot about yourself all the way down to what type of shoes you wear and whether or not they are kept clean.

it's not right to make judgments, but get real-- it's human nature && what we all do! upon my initial first impression of you, i set a judgment on you. then i leave it up to you to disprove that judgment. do you? more than half of them times, no. i'm almost always right && when i'm wrong, i accept that. in fact, i like it when i'm wrong because it makes my last thread of hope that there are still amazing people in this world that consider loyalty and respect as important as i do.

one thing i won't do is ever desert people.. it has been done to me recently and it is a never ending worry that you may never talk to them again or ever find out what happened. Never desert your friends. the best we can hope for are good, honest companions. They stick by you through thick and thin and won't judge you based on your crazy family. life is better the first time around. often imitated, never duplicated. The original is always the best... but the worst enemies you'll face are those you bring with you.

i always go with my gut feeling. it never fails. when i sense a shady motherfucker, i'll be the first to watch the person on all he or she does. i won't call him or her out though. why? cus i like to see how far people think they can go. this goes for people who try to lie to me.. it's amusing. like i'm really that stupid && don't know. i've been turned onto a lot of the scandalous and manipulative ways people can turn down.. and won't for any thing in the world let my guard down. i always expect the worse from people.. and when they prove their best, that's when i let them in my circle.. but just because they got pass the outlying blockades doesn't mean they are into my circle of besties. they have to prove themselves more than twice. i'm a picky eater, but even more of a picky friend chooser and an even worse dater.

&& i'm not saying this to be cocky, but i am one DAMN good friend to have. i am down for all my girls. i will do anything to put a smile on their face. i don't steal, lie, or cheat when it comes to the ones i love. i am very knowledgeable on how scandalous people can and will be, this is why i never let my guard down.. because i have before and only got hurt in the end.

perhaps i'm just a cynical bitch.. i doubt it but then again if i were, why am i always proven right?

xox fee

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

Self Reflection

this year has opened my eyes to so much, i do not even know where to begin. i am just so much happier, so much more .. free. i feel like such a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. i am finally that person i've been dying to be. last year was full of setting goals, and wanting them-- but not having the motivation nor the finances to meet them. it's like Tracy DiMarco explains .. "it's like my dream dress. i see it in the window, i want it so bad.. but when i reach out to grab it-- i just can't.." word for word what my year last year was like.

When I began dating my new boyfriend, I was more determined than ever to get my shit together. I wanted to start off by finding my self-respect, and my self-confidence. With that being said, I created a post on listing things i love about myself. i will make a list on both mental/emotional things I love, and physical things I love. Then things I dislike about myself. Both emotional and physical as well. My point is to list everything out-- get it all in print. Then one by one start finding solutions to things i dislike about myself, and to eventually have nothing to list under that list. I know I'm hoping for a lot but hey, we got to start somewhere right? =]

** i recommend any of my readers to really do this as well. you might think it's ridiculous, but when you actually read things you like or hate about yourself-- it's as if it hits you that much harder. maybe it's just me. **

((disclaimer: now girls, this cannot be something you know you can't change. for instance, your nose or the size of your chest. plastic surgery is not a solution i want you to pursue. && if you think it is, then truly ask yourself who you're doing it for and why you want it done?))

i am focusing on gaining more self esteem as I have recently come to the conclusion that I fall into bad habits because of the way I view myself. I am trying to think of new ways to improve my views, and one of them being the creation of this blog. obviously, i'm the first in noticing negative things on myself. i criticize myself so much so often, and i desperately want/need to just stop it! i should be more than grateful for everything i do and have.. here is my list, i think every girl should do one-- so you better get started. :D

1. i love the fact that i am a people person. i can get along with just about any one, my personality is so diverse. I am great at entertaining, putting a genuine smile on someone's face is such a rewarding feeling. i can make even the grumpiest of people laugh.. even if it is a laughing AT me laugh.. ;)

2. i love that i am the first person to offer the shirt off my back to the ones i love, and the ones that i think deserve it. i don't mind sharing my last piece of gum nor giving the last pair of $100.00 Cha Cha knee-high boots (i so desperately wanted forever until I saved up enough to get them) to the teenage girl going to her first costume high school party this year.. why? because it puts a smile on their face. As stated above, that truly warms my heart.

3. i love that i am able to differentiate between people who appreciate my generosity and people who take my kindness for weakness & try to take advantage of me without thinking i notice. i have a knack for reading people down to their cores. This isn't always the case, and sometimes I allow people to do so because I feel for them, and know it's not hurting me to help them even if they are taking advantage -- but that never lasts very long.

4. I love that I wake up super positive!

Now what I want is for all of my readers to do the same. You will be surprised with what you may find out about yourself. You will begin to realize "hey, I do have some killer legs. Maybe I'll sport those capri pants I've been neglecting." or "hey, i can get a job--and will refuse to let my background define who I am, whether in my eye's or in my future employer's eyes."

Go do it ladies!!

-Fee xx

Thursday, March 17, 2016



think back to a past love that didn't end so well. We all have that one don't we? do you remember your emotions throughout that relationship ?? remember that love? that love that made you so vulnerable; that love that opened your chest and your heart just so someone can get inside you and mess you up; so you then build up all these defenses. You build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you. Or so you think.

But then that one person wanders into your life and you give them a piece of you. they didn't ask for it, and youd never offer it but they sort of just magnetized yourself to them.. inside them. they did something to you one day and that just changed your life for good.

well it has happened to me when i first met my boyfriend. it was love at first sight, literally. But love wasn't always fuzzy bunnies and smiles. love was the enemy sometimes. it takes hostages. it gets inside you, and it eats you and leaves you crying in the darkness. so a simple phrase like "i don't need this.." turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart, just tearing at your heat valves. not just in the mind.. but in the soul. it's a "real gets inside you and rips you apart" pain that they have yet found an anecdote to.

some times i can honestly say i hate love... but i can't stop myself from denying my love for him. what will it take to get it through my head that this is just going to end really bad?  i guess i can say i am addicted to the pain. addicted to the excitement. addicted to the unknown. addicted to not knowing what the fuck, when the fuck where the fuck or how the fuck things will end up.. and i guess that and that alone is what keeps me hunting for more..

It's times like these that make me wonder if love is real. is there really an emotion that can last forever, through the ups and downs of a relationship, through thick and thin? or is "love" something we just make up in our heads to satisfy our emotion we feel at the time? Or maybe we use the word "love" as a safety blanket. love is for sure a frightening journey but it is also a wondrous one too and it is important to note that you get out of something what you put into it. so when love comes around, you should def not think of it as so scary, but more enticing, and definitely worth your while. love is permissible. if you allow it, you can let yourself be overcome by feelings of care, affections, intimacy, and warmth. these feelings wont destroy you either... they're good, positive feelings. & if you let them show, it is ohhh so much easier for your partner to feel that it is OK about letting their mutual affection show back.

just as life, love isn't fair either. when i fell in love with my babe, i immediately let my guard down. ready for whatever love wanted to throw at me. only time nothing was. in fact, i was the one who did the throwing. i threw my trust at him. not too much trust but just enough to let them in.. to see what direction he would take to hurt me.

i am then willing to do anything in the world for him as long as it's good for his well being. im always there by his side, helping him through everything even if it doesn't benefit him in any way. That is why I chose to leave. This relationship is not worth the hurt we put each other through.

You may ask if it is really worth it? Worth possibly losing your individuality for this person? Worth losing the freedom of doing what you want when you want? No one will ever know what you have for another person. It's hard to understand but all I can recommend if you TRUST YOUR GUT FEELINGS. Something is telling you this for a reason. LISTEN TO IT!

.......venting over.

xox rica


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