Thursday, December 25, 2014

holllrr if you hear mee :D

my life thus far: what a fucking roller coaster.

I love how woman talk about women they do not know, but are clearly jealous of. How she has more boyfriends than tampons in a year, and how she dyes her hair a different color every month. well not I. i am not your typical teenager. because i had to grow up fast, i have been able to live independently and comfortable at the age of 16, after making the choice to move out of my mom's house and support. at that time, i had my boyfriend to lean on and to help support me. but now being this age, i managed to gain a lot of independence and make a life and even more important a name for myself. i have felt the need to do a full evaluation on the things i have accomplished.

goals made in 2014: 14
goals achieved: 8

This is not good. I was only able to stick to a little over half of what i promised myself i would be fully committed to. how did i let these goals of mine slip through my fingers? it's about d i s t r a c t i o n s. life is full of distractions. they are so easily distracting. it's insane. and now i am beating myself up for letting these distractions consume my entire mind body and soul which now has affected my life in more aspects than one.

I don't handle failure  very well. I try to live by great expectations, and I know this isn't the best choice to do but it's just the way i am. this could be why i haven't been very happy lately. people just let me down soo much. nothing in this world is as beautiful as they try to instill in your minds growing up in elementary school.

I've dealt with the most turmoil this year... the most hurt the most betrayal , the most disgust in mankind.. I mean that, genuinely. It was harsh. I learned how brutal this world can be. How immoral people really are. How much chivalry is dying and that "A thug changes, and love changes, and best friends become strangers"

straight up.

But, I also gained so much. I gained new friends, who are brilliant.. got closer with ones that came from past years. Became so much wiser, really. i've learned the importance of loyalty and respect, and how to gain it and more importantly, how to keep it. I learned to take hits like a big girl... literally. i learned to not let things affect me badly. These days, people who used to get under my skin, merely scratch the surface now. Made me remember my self worth, that I was doubting with a few people that i'm glad to say are gone..

&& welcome 2015 ... i think we're gonna be friends ;D

xox rica


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