Thursday, November 20, 2014

happy turkey day! < 3


happy thanksgiving !! 

Whether you celebrate this holiday or not, i hope everyone will max out on some amazing food & enjoy the time with their family and/or friends.

Thanksgiving marks the gathering of summer’s harvest, but it’s also a day when we express gratitude. I believe that living a thankful life is good for your mind, body and spirit. Even though these are very trying times, everyone has something they can be thankful for. regardless of where you presently fall on the thankfulness scale, i encourage you to find something, big or small, to be thankful for. my main ones will be listed below in this post. you all should do the same :)  

family 


i am thankful for my family. every family has its own abundance of issues. Mine is no different. This year I am most thankful for my mother and sister. my mother has gotten me through what seems to be the most hardest of times, and has never once given up on me. she has done more for me these past few months than i can ever expect or ask of her to do. my sister is my pride and joy. her laughter brightens any situation. i am trying my hardest to get to be the best i can all because of her. she is my #1 motivation.

Whether they're coming to us or we're going to them, family is often love. If family life is more complicated than it is “Leave it to Beaver,” find ways to show your appreciation for the people who raised you the best they could. Good or bad, your family life helped form what you value most in relationships. Be thankful.


friends && enemies 


I do not have many, but my few are something special that is for sure. This year I have received chances to become more social. Instead of being so consumed in my own life, I finally meet that friend for lunch that we talked about months ago. i finally let people in that i was afraid to initially because of all the hurt prior females have caused.

my boyfriend-- *
i am so very thankful for having such a wonderful man to call mine. time has gone by very quickly, and i am so blessed to have my angel by my side with me experiencing life and seeing our relationship blossom into something beautiful. While this relationship has been difficult some times, it's been a great learning experience for us both, in a positive way. I've learned that I can handle more than I ever thought possible. i've gained a lot of independence within this past year, and am very content with knowing i am on my way.

  freedom

i am thankful for freedom and opportunity. I have the opportunity to do and become ANY THING i want. That is a good feeling. i am blessed to live in the United States of America. This country DEFINITELY has its down sides and faults; however I would not choose to live any where else. I believe this country is one of the safest, and i also believe we as a people still have a voice, and many of us intend of using that voice.

So I say this -- and reiterate it until you all agree-- Be very THANKFUL to live in a country packed with the freedoms and opportunities so many dream of & even better- achieve!


____________________________________________________________________

i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t
"do you know what that means?? tell em!"


it wouldn't be hard to label me as a very blessed girl. when in reality, luck has little to do with all that i have. i have worked my ass off for what i have & i am always on my grind for that paper. i have walked multiple paths of life so far, and don't plan on stopping any time soon. See below:

  * apartment *
I finally got my own place! No more roommates; no more instability. I have my own apartment which is less than 15min from my sister! Not to mention my landlords are such wonderful people. I am very blessed to have ones whom are so great, generous, and caring as they are. They help me more than any landlord ever has before.

* employment *
I just started a new job a couple months ago, and I am really loving it. My boss is a phenomenal guy who says i have a lot of promise. Do you have a job? Be thankful. It's hard to find and more importantly KEEP one these days. Be thankful for the freedom and flexibility that your job may offer you. If you're still looking for work, just be thankful for the skills and experience you can bring to the table. Many people do not have the opportunity to even use a keyboard, or work with cars, etc. Americans have so much opportunity and resources that it is literally coming out of our asses-- I hate when I see them not being used to their full advantage!

* clothes, make up, and shoes *
i know i should be, but i really am thankful for all of the materialistic items i own as far as make up, clothes, shoes, purses, etc. it's not just a symbol of the things i love, but it's a sign of yes - independence!  many people are not able to enjoy sure luxury -- and i am very grateful to be one of the few whom has been able to.
 __________________________________

basic life necessities

i may not always have exactly what i want, but i have more than enough to eat and more than enough choices that over half of this world does not get to have.  my home isn't perfect, i often feel its "too small"  and still renting-- but it's a warm, safe place to live and in a nice, quiet neighborhood in a wonderful community based town. im blessed to have the things i have and to have what i need. ESPECIALLY when knowing that there were times I, myself, have been in situations where I didn't have enough to eat, clothing to wear or a place to sleep- I'm definitely thankful for the blessings of having "more than enough."
      ____________________________________
 creativity 
i am thankful for the opportunity to have explored my creative side this year. i have creativity wanting to burst at the seams. i love making things i can either decorate my body or home with. Jewelry, pillows, scarves, clothes, etc. A wonderful lady showed me how to, she is absolutely wonderful at it herself. 
                  ___________________________________________________________________

my current beautiful town
i am so thankful to live in such an amazing area. i am living right on the river. This town is considered a "rich" town. I hate to say it but you can just tell from walking thru it. You can see how involved members of the community are. You can see how clean and kept this town is. You can tell it is very family oriented with how every house has seasonal decorations on their lawns, or signs in the front yards showing support for what ever group. I enjoy walking to work in the summers. On my walk, i get to see such amazing houses, I pass by runners, dog walkers, etc and they are so friendly. I get offered rides on cold days from little old ladies.. theyre so cute. i love living in this area. i am so glad i had this opportunity, and i hope to stay here for a while.
                          ____________________________________________________________



I am thankful for life- i am thankful for yet another day that God has given me to live on his beautiful Earth and value the blessings that God has given me. Too often, we grumble about the world we're living in or the life we have. i have realized that each day is a gift from Him and it becomes what we make of it. there can be good found in anything that happens, we just have to open our eyes and see it. i am very happy with how much i have grown this year & so excited to see where life may lead me in the coming year.

i am DETERMINED to try harder. it is finally that time.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Happy National Tequila Week!

Hello Ladies!

It is no secret I love me some Tequila! Margaritas are a must to cool off on a hot summer day. In honor of National Tequila Week, I wanted to share some of my favorite recipes with you! They are simple, not too expensive, and quick to make -- Triple Threat!

First off, the best recipe for a basic margarita is to follow a 3-1-1 ratio. This means 3 parts tequila, 1 part Cointreau (or other such liqueur) and 1 part lime juice…stir or shake! Though that's just the basics of it. I have my three favorite tequila drinks below!

Fresh Raspberry Margarita 

Cinco de Mayo cocktail recipe: Fresh raspberry margarita


Ingredients

        quarter cup fresh ripe raspberries
        2 ounces silver tequila
        1 ounce freshly squeezed lime juice
        half ounce Cointreau
        half ounce raspberry liqueur
        Lime wheels (duh)

------------------

 Tequila Sunrise
  • 1 ounce Campari
  • 1 ounce sweet red vermouth
  • 1 ounce tequila
Combine all ingredients in a glass with ice, stir to chill! Of course, cherry and orange slice for decor ;-)

Tequila Sunrise cocktail


-----------------------------

Paloma

Hailing from Mexico, the Paloma is one of the most refreshing tequila highballs out there. This is my preferred drink of choice, but I have my own twist to it.

    1 ounce blanco Tequila
    1 ounce grapefruit soda
    Fresh lime juice

I use Squirt, but also fight the acidity with a splash of Cranberry juice. These are all three ingrediants most bars have!

---------------------------

The fact that National Tequila Day fell on a Monday this year didn’t stop Jose Cuervo from celebrating in style. They actually set up three special water fountains in LA to dispense silver tequila, but sadly only for today.

 


Drink safely my friends!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

what goes around comes around xx

work.

i legit don't think my life would be complete if i didn't have a job to go to every day. i think working is one of the things every one must do. you never will know independence until you do. It's my time away from home stress.

this feeling makes me feel so alive and amazing. words cannot explain.

______________________________________

The other day, I watched a girl named "Chrissie" come and interview for a sales position at my job. She was tall, a little thicker, and was lacking any interpersonal skills whatsoever.

My manager, who is supposed to give the final yay or nay, was hardly even listening to her as she spoke, and was more engrossed in the baseball game on the big screen. As she maneuvered around the show room, showing off her knowledge of the cars in the lot, another new girl we recently hired who goes by the name Gina, stated aloud what we all were thinking. "That girl is out of her mind thinking she is fit for this job." Gina then began to nitpick at every little thing.. and while it was funny at first.. it later began to annoy me how mean she was being.

The courage and confidence required to come in confident to an interview, and then to work in a new environment, with professional females staring you down waiting for you to mess up, and all this especially in sales, is tremendous. So how could a female possibly be so judgmental towards another female when they face and have faced the same demons? I didn’t participate in the conversation and I kept my opinion to myself. Not everyone is meant for sales. To my surprise, Chrissie returned to the floor after she interview and sat among us. This means my manager said YAY.

Apparently her sales pitch was good enough. Then, one of my managers approached me and asked me to do something I have not done in a long time. He wanted to know if I could train her. i've always been the one to train employees who were new, but in this particular department.. this task holds soo much more weight to it than i was used to.

Back in the old days when I worked in a popular clothing store, I was always the one asked to get the new people accustomed to the sales floor. I demonstrated how to up-sell. I showed them how to put outfits together to get good sales, because we are females in the biz--we already have a higher chance on selling to males than males do. Believe it or not, I am right.

And the weird thing was, I had an absolute blast doing it. It was the most satisfying feeling to see my “students” succeed and go on to become great sales people. So you can imagine I was more than happy to sacrifice some money (there were already customers seated) and show this girl how to kick ass.

We took a tour of the showroom, and the service departments, etc. She even mentioned to me that the information I gave her was incredibly helpful. All I could think of was that I wish I had someone to teach me when I first started out. But then again, I took to sales the way normal people take to sports or music. I was a natural.

Chrissie ended up doing well that next day. And Gina?? Yeah, she was fired for lying to a customer about a car's engine problems leading to a sale.

Now that's some irony

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

the EX factor xx


have you ever had an issue of your man's ex wanting to be best friends with him again?
 do you agree with your man should be best friends with a past lover?
what about his feelings on you being good friends with a man you have once been intimate with
Image result for boyfriend friends with female

I personally am not for it. i also don't agree with males having female BEST friends to begin with. i’m especially miffed by MARRIED men who have female best friends. i mean, forgive me if i am crazy for saying so but isn't that who your wife is supposed to be? I think having someone of the opposite sex to lean on, well unless it's a sibling/relative.. is an unnecessary temptation and a potential leak of intimacy between partners. temptation is a natural feeling, and very VERY easy to break into. So why even put yourself in that position?

Although it may be possible to have casual sex with a friend, even this can damage a relationship. As hard as it is to accept, it's difficult to bring a relationship back to its normal state after having been intimate with someone. You will always have memories of the intimate encounters will always be triggered by the smell of her skin or perfume, or say a moment him and his new girl say something sexual, etc. or even by hearing a song that you once made passionate love to.

And as thick-skinned as you are, it's hard to see the person in the same light after being entangled in each other's skin and sharing a moment of complete pleasure with one another-- especially if it was AMAZING SEX.lol

Not to mention, there will always be one-sided bitterness. this is mainly because breakups are typically one-sided, one person will always feel resentment or bitterness toward the other. Even if your ex is feigning friendship, she's not sincerely your friend. If it seems like plans with your new potential woman are always being sabotaged, they just might be... and that's when jealousy comes into play.

&& where there's bitterness, there's jealousy.
 
And the truth of the matter is that it's hard to be sincerely happy for your ex when she's just found the new love of her life.

Image result for boyfriend friends with female

However, just because one person may have moved onto another person does not necessarily mean she is over her past lover... It's human nature to be jealous or resentful when our ex finds a new person to cuddle up to, even if our feelings have somewhat faded. It becomes a race of who will find the new lover first, a challenge especially brought on by the person who was dumped. Even for the person who did the breaking up, the thought of someone else taking your place in the memories that you and your ex shared is hard, and sometimes extremely painful to fathom because that passion still exists. Even if your relationship was completely problem-ridden, chances are that the passion and sexual chemistry between the two of you still exists.

This is a recipe for disaster because it means that every time you get together under this new "friendship" premise, the lust and passion you have makes it more likely that you'll end up in "one more" night of unbridled "goodbye" sex, for old times' sake. This brings you right back to square one -- how you felt right after your breakup, and just when you were doing so well with movin on..

Leaving the past behind is hard enough, and you don't want part of your past still programmed in your cell phone. Although it's easier for the dumper, recovering from a breakup is still a hard thing to do since it means being single again, getting back into the dating scene and no longer making that daily goodnight call you and your ex used to share but having that person lingering in your life as a constant reminder makes it even harder to move on with your life, meet new people and turn a fresh page. It's almost like keeping one foot in the past, and another struggling to make it back into the pickup scene.

In a perfect world, the ideal would be for exes to succeed at being friends, but in one where bitterness, jealousy, passion, and human nature exceed reasoning and rational thought, it's impossible. Unless the two of you were the best of friends before, both broke up on the same terms in a perfectly mutual breakup, both have no qualms about either of you seeing new people, and have both instilled a policy of total honesty, you're better to leave the friendship behind... along with the memories.

Regardless of what anyone says, I will always believe the idea of a man and a woman being best friends is charming but improbable. it always leads to something else.. meaning that the relationship eventually becomes romantic or physically intimate.

What do you think? Does your guy have a female best friend? Are you okay with it?

Saturday, September 06, 2014

.... hitting the rebound.

You -

i have lived in a fairytale for so long and now i sit in silence to try and overcome the pain and hurt you have caused me. you have given me every emotion but the one i have craved for so long. i've legit invested sooo much into you--giving you my mind, body and soul in hopes of receiving the same compassion... only to find out i would never receive any true compassion at all.

i have lost all strength.

i am not whole, nor is my heart beating the same beat it once had. when I see you, my world falls apart knowing you’re not a part of me any more && all that’s left is a scar reminding me a piece of me is gone forever. But after all the tears have left my eyes && when my heart is at ease for those few moments, i feel pretty sure i made the right decision.

this life is not easy, and in the end I can only hope someone will give me the true love you stopped giving me. you’ve torn me apart && I will never be healed completely. Thank you for showing me you can't kill your feelings with alcohol and you can't stuff your emotions with cupcakes. Not to mention probably the most important thing i have learned from you would be that there comes a time when you need to say goodbye. i've tried to avoid this for so long when i was only putting myself in denial the entire time. as much as i wanted it to work, its unhealthy to keep trying and all I can do is know I am doing what is good for my mental sanity, not what's good for someone else..so i've came to terms with myself on this && think i'm ready.

with that being said, the rest of you can all stop trying to read me or figure me out. maybe I like to be un-navigable. I don’t want to be a doll on a shelf or a trophy in a case. I’m an actual person with real thoughts and feelings and as cliche as that sounds, no one can define me but ME. watching every move that I make, you will fail. trying to get to know the real me, you will fail.

so let me make this simple for you---

Page? Turned. Chapter? Closed.

Let's roll.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

a few of my favorite things xx

                      

i know i know.  who doesn't it make happy? lol so i wanted to make a post on a few of my favorite things. ya know.... things i cant live without, things i am in love with, and things i would highly recommend for all to use. which all of the items im going to list fall into each of those lol

so here's a list of  few of my favorite things via posting pictures of all the things i love and cannot live without =) most of the pictures i took myself, but there are a few i got off of google.com searches.
enjoy ;]
***keep in mind i will be adding to this list and/or making a part two, so stay tuned ;] ***

notebook paper.i am constantly writing down my any list you can think of! i often carry this folder which serves as my little daily organizer. This one has my "to do list, grocery list/things to buy list, my short term goals list, my long term goals list, my research list/job duties list" && of course the more colorful, the better. colors are a great way to keep organized!






*** i will be making a DIY blog on "Daily Organizer Binders";; something i came up with to not only be organized, but to stay organized. I'll include how i make the binders, where i buy my colored notebook paper (& what to do when i can't find any in stores), certain binders, and all other supplies needed, and what tabs i use that work best for me, along with different lists/tabs ive thought of that i'll list for you to choose based on which fits your life. I'll also include the importance of having one, and keeping up with it, and the importance of using colors, and much, much more!!  Stay tuned for the blog this month!!!"






 make up brushes.

These are the two biggest vases i'd recommend using, I also have two small square ones, & 1 small circular one not pictured.
 i got the vases at the Target ($3-6.99ea) and the pink sand i got at Hobby Lobby ($2.99).
each of my vases have different colored sand.
For the brushes i have w/a brush on each end, I just lie down in my make up box/chest.















candles.

i am obsessed with my apartment smelling good, and these candles do the trick perfectly. they stay lit long, expel an exuberant smell that makes me want to eat it all up!! haha ;) I get mine for usually $5.99ea at Bed Bath & Beyond, or Bath & Body Works

Ionic Blow Dryer

so light weight, my long ass hair takes 15 minutes to blow dry. as you can assume my arms gets sooo tired after a while. Not this with bad girl. Not only is the heat warm (not super hot burning your ends) but it has an amazing attachment that helps keep the blow dryer at least 4-6 inches away from the head.

brazilian keratin therapy.

okay ladies, if there is ANY hair product i would recommend, it'd be this. Brazilian Keratin Therapy makes your hair feel so amazing. I had really damaged hair, and I don't think I have a single split end any more. I get it thru my salon which has argon & morrocan oil in it as well, but most beauty stores have the ones pictured which I got from Sally's.
`



matching bra & panty sets.

when i leave the house, my bra & panties have to match. its an OCD thing, i swear. problem is i wear the same bra more than just once, so i have 10 of the same colored pair to match each diff color/design bra i have amounting to thousands of panties in my dressers lol









Charm Bracelets.
 
i am obsessed with making and wearing . i made this one for my baby sister for her 6th birthday.

jewelry is so easy to make once you get the hang of it-- i make about 30 % of my jewelry!




Garnier Fructis Volume Mousse


this stuff is a miracle worker. it adds volume like you wouldn't believe. Tracy DiMarco recommended it in one of her beaty vlogs, and we alll know Tracy's volume is one to admire. So of course I want whaaaatevs that girl has! ;=]
 i teased the heck out of my hair. it looked so fab < 3
not only that but it smells sooo delicious!
&& pretty cheap too! only $7.95  per bottle!




Skintimate Shaving Gel.

 Thisis perfect for those you who want perfffectly smoooooth skin--- use this!! I give & get massages often, and my therapists always tell me how silky smooth my skin feels. and i just know it's from using this amazing product.


 Mike's Hard Lemonade
since i turned 21 this year, ive been trying to find my signature drink. i've settled with wine coolors are alway nice since they hide that god awful taste of alcohol, but still give you that amaaaazing buzz =p

 dunkin donuts/ mcdonalds mccafe shakes

i get one of these on my way to work eery morning. they wake me up, and just ooses eith strawberry flavor. extra whippppp please =]

hair teasing brush.
this brush works sooo fantastically! it's a Spornette Little Wonder -- you can buy it online at any beauty site for under $10. it works so perfectly with teasing and back combing.














straight sexy hair smoothing balm/heat protectant.

this smells like strawberries, is a pink & black bottle which i LOVE ;) and it works so fabulously. i straighten my hair alot-- even to curl it which i do often as well. this acts as a barrier between my hair and the heat, therefore keeping my strands healthy and vibrasnt as opposed to burnt.


leg warmers.
there was a time when i wore leg warmers every day throughout the fall and winter. i am obsessed with them.

 i have a pair in every color, i really love wearing them with sweater dresses in the fall or winter.

 you can wear them over your knee high boots, or with closed/open toed pumps.





fruit smoothies.

i love fruit smoothies in general but Naked fruit smoothies are sooo yummy.
 this is soo very healthy for your body.

 i believe they are around $4 a bottle but so worth it.

they're super healthy, super yummy, and are sold in any grocery store near the produce section. They have various different flavors as well.

old perfume bottles.

am i the only one who collects all my pretty perfume bottles, even after they are empty? i like setting them up as a display cus they look soo pretty :) i set all of mine on a cake stand holder I got from bed bath & beyond, it's a round glass peice that really looks so elegant.






Flawless Fake Bake Tan.
                       
 if you want the perfect tan but don't want to get skin cancer from tanning beds, and not enough time or patience to sit in the sun --- use this product!! it's my secret to my glowing tan. not only does it smell good, but it smoothes on soo evenly, I cannot get over how great and easy it is too apply it.

 it comes with a professional mitt too. it is kind of on the pricey side at $25.00 per bottle at Ulta, but probably online you can get it for half that--- but defff worth it!







 Magazines.

this is a current pictures of my latest, but I seriously am a magazine addict. i have to buy any latest, and have about four subscriptions to popular magazines including cosmopolitan & people, and even more catelog sibscriptions.

i am very artsy crafty, and am always looking thru mags for things to cut out to put on a poster or in my scrapbook. =)



O.P.I. Nail Polish

this nail polish is obviously known for being non chip, and having the best colors!
They have any color you can think of, and i have about 30 of them! my nail polish collection has expanded tremendouly within the past few months.



victoria's secret beauty products.
the body spray, body butter & body lotion sets are so amazing. not only are they very affordable (which very rarely do you see that word in the same sentence  w/Victoria's secret lol) but they are good quality as well. the fragrance lingers on your body for hours, the body butter moisturizes your skin so intensely, & i can't begin to count how many compliments i get on how great i smell. my favorite is Endless Love(blue liquid bottle) Strawberries In Champagne (purplepink pictured) & Love Spell (purple body butter bottle).





hand sanitizer.
because i am SUCH a clean freak and germophobe, i have hand sanitizer in my purse/pocket at all times. not only that but im constantly washing my hands.

 this also results in extremely dry skin, so that leads to me carrying lotion around at all times too!



fav store sales.

not only sales at stores, but my favorite stores!! nothing makes me smile bigger than when i get the biggest bang for my buck.

 this is especially satisfying when it happens at Victoria's secret since they are normally pretty pricey!




fun slides.

oh em gee. i know this isn't necessarily a thing, but def one of my must do at any festival/carnival/ theme park. fun slides have always been my absolute favorites enter to win. well that one & the big Egyptian boat hehe =P






at stated in the beginning, stay tuned for a part two !!!

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

i can't be tamed. xx

hey all,
sometimes I go out of town for an extended period of time.. i do because being in the same place for too long really makes me lose touch with myself.  it feels good to break free from the normal routine, and do something nice for some one else while also putting a smile on my face. So my boyfriend and I attended a wedding of a good friend of mine.  she asked me to be a bridesmaid in the wedding so I was thrilled to not only be a part of her special day but to get away from the stress in my town and go to her town to celebrate with her and her family. funny thing is, this particular friend is the exact opposite of me in every way so how we are so close I do not know.... all I do know is that I love her dearly and I want nothing but happiness for her. And by happiness, I mean hot, wild wedding night sex.

So, with that being said I went on the Fredericks of Hollywood website and bought her a little something that looked like this…


Fredericks of Hollywood Erika Hanky Hem Babydoll $22.00


I had to keep in mind that her style is very different from my style. she has a curvy figure and is very modest, so I thought something looser with a halter tie would really flatter her and make her feel sexy. the other bridesmaids were planning on getting her lingerie as well so I was really excited to see what everyone would come up with---- fast forward to the night before the wedding. the maid of honor got her a couple of regular bras, five pairs of multi-colored normal panties, and a floor length silk nightgown with matching robe. The other bridesmaid got her a matching tank top and boy short set along with another silky floor length night gown. && then there was me, the degenerate bridesmaid. as soon as she pulled my gift out of the bag, she looked shocked and definitely blushed while all the other girls started laughing and rooting her on. of course she broke out into smiles eventually, but I couldn’t help but feel totally awkward. are the other girls totally old fashioned or have I completely lost touch with what normal society considers sexy??? i mean in my personal opinion, the gift I got her was incredibly tame.


                                  Leather Bra and G-String by Snaz75.com $37.99

So it became obvious I was the wild one without even trying to be. that works. in all actuality, I have been labeled much worse things...

To top it all off, i crashed at one of the bridesmaid’s houses after the ceremony and they decided to put us in Stacy’s bed room. Stacy was her younger sister and just happened to be stunning in a way I rarely see. Her Spanish heritage gave her a beautiful olive complexion and she had big, full lips that would put Angelina Jolie to shame. def gonna be a beauty when she's older.

As soon as I walked into Stacy’s room, however, my attitude completely changed.

Bibles. Crucifixes. Fluffy stuffed animals. Pink. seroiusly the abrupt thought of my entire body bursting into flames sent a chill down my spine and all throughout my body. whaaaaat the hell was all this? as we laid in her bed, surrounded by innocence and purity, my boyfriend and i began talking. i just wondered what led me astray. Growing up, I always went to church every Sunday and even took religious education classes. how come I didn’t turn out like Stacy? how come I feel the need to do what I do? to be such a sinner... i have the good intentions there, it's jst when i go to actually do it i just.. i dont know.. am lead in a different direction.

I guess the answer is because i never fully believed in the first place. if my memory serves me right, when you receive your first communion and you get confirmed, you take an oath of some sort that says you believe in God and everything He represents. I said exactly what everyone wanted me to say, yet deep down I wasn’t buying it. i wanted to believe there was a higher power, but i really wanted to see something to prove it. i know that won't ever happen so  i guess if i just accept jesus christ as my lord and savior, what hurt will it do when the time come. Believe it or not, we slept very well in that sweet, loving bedroom but we were happy to get out of there the next day...

Needless to say, it’s good to be home.

Monday, August 04, 2014

FUCK LOVE

People that let go in the beginning, i give you props. Because people who wrap their lives up in someone only end up broken-hearted in the end. So what if you fall into that group? The one time you let your guard down, you're proven right. The one person you've always relied on, who has always been there, says "have a nice life."

EASILY. you find yourself someone you don't even know, you chance without even realizing it, your views, the way you operate-- all of it has been busted.

it's crazy how people can put so much into you && take that much more out. you watch what you say, watch what you do, put all your energy into it;; falling asleep && waking up to the same thoughts-- && all you end up doing is breaking down in the process.

In creeps the paranoia, the fear, the pain-- which is all too much for a person to take. All it puts into you it hate... for everything around you.

All it does it show you the FOOL you are, the IDIOT who fell in love.

FUCK TRUST
Fuck anyone who has had a problem with it, whose feelings were non-existent
&& now you're just stuckkk.....

WAKE UP
You come out of your coma, but hate yourself for letting someone change you so much.

ANGRY

You wasted all this hopelessness.

FURIOUS
that you were genuine with your feelings when he wasn't.

DAMAGED
because it was all taken away, slipped right through your fingers without either of you noticing.

WONDERING

why the FUCK did i even try so hard?


Pardon my paranoia. I just returned from a trip to hell and I haven’t unpacked my baggage yet

FUCK LOVE.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

my favorite good girls < 3

If the world did some gnarly Freaky Friday shit tomorrow and made every girl a lesbian, I’d pray to God I could get stuck with one of these yummies.




Kate Beckinsale

This woman is such an amazing woman. She is involved with so much GOOD, I don't know where to start. She is involved with a lot of charity work, mainly charities for Heart disease and Animal Cruelty. She is more so a action heroine actress.
She stays out of the limelight for the sole purpose of providing a life as normal as possible for her only child, her daughter Lily. She has only been with three men her entire life, and does not do any nude work.
She is just a beautiful person inside and out.



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Maria Menounos

She is a T.V. personality, and I have always thought she was very pretty. Every time I wanted to do some thing new with my hair, I always look her up to see what she has going on because she ALWAYS has an absolute perfect hair style going on. Clearly -->















Charlize Thereon
Wow, talk about a woman who can transform herself into any thing she commits herself to. Charlize is a true chameleon. she defied preconceptions to become one of Hollywood's most versatile actresses by being able to adept at comedy as  perfectly as she was at drama like her portrayal of the serial killer Aileen Wournos in "Monster" --one of my favorite movies.

I am not that big into light hair and eyes on women (obviously given the dark beauties posted above) but she is that one exception I cannot ignore. I have yet to find a flaw in her statuesque figure, piercing eyes, and perfectly symmetrical face.



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Jennifer Love Hewitt

Her performance in Heart Breakers was what drew me in, and I have been hooked ever since. Not only am I absolutely addicted the The Client List on Lifetime both the TV show and movie (have both!) But she is just the epitome of perfection.

Even when she was very heavy, she never succumbed to Hollywood's pressure of losing baby weight super quick, etc. she said FUCK YOU and did her thing!

I really love her without the bangs she has been known for -- this hair style is perfect for her face shape I think.




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Eva Longoria
she has been my all time favorite latina, from even before desperate housewives. she was a soap opera star and that is where I first saw her and fell in love. She is now one of the most known actresses in shows and movies, and huge food enthusiast including owning a restaurant Beso. She's a diehard Texas fan, and very much involved with charities due to her younger sister who is mentally and physically handicapped. she is a tiny little firecracker and so sassy. I love her!

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I know I’m missing a lot, but this is all my 1 a.m. brain can muster up at the moment. Given the fact that there are so many, I think I’d have maybe a C+ shot at nabbing one of them if this Freaky Friday Armageddon should ever occur, no? C+ is not so bad, at least it is passing. haha!

All jokes aside, I think beauty has no definition. It truly is in the eye of its beholder. Every culture has a different definition for what they consider beautiful -- and what may be downright gorgeous in one culture, can be ugly in another. What is most important is just to be Y.O.U.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

jerseylicious;; tracy dimarco < 33









This is where my Goudy crazy spice I love but do not have the guts to wear comes in. i absolutely love this girl. for those of you whom have been living under a rock the past couple of years, this is tracy dimarco.

she is on the Style network's #1 show called Jerseylicious. most people know tracy for her "tracy dimarco hair" and her "tracy dimarco nails" and her "tracy dimarco style". these three things have made her infamous in reality television. I recently got into the show when i caught it on my style network one weekend when it was in its second season.. i was instantly addicted.

jerseylicious, big rich texas, etc all of those shows all in a row on my TiVo. least to say, mix it in with desperate housewives, lifetime's the client list--- i wouldn't bother me at all on sunday nights!!
If you don't know what Jerseylicious is about, it is an American reality tv show about a beautiful salon, called The Gatsby, located in New Jersey, & the Jersey girls working as hairstylists and make up artists and all the drama that comes with it.

The main characters are Tracy DiMarco, Olivia, Gayle & Christina (owners of salon), GiGi, and the glam fairy, Alexa (whom recently branched off into her own salon The Glam Factory. Alexa is another favorite gal of mine! =]-- then there is the ever so sexy shampoo assistant but he's not so relevant as he is sweet! ;)

So anyway, one of the girls, Tracy Dimarco, was donning these nails with wide-flair tips, & i  fell in love with them the minute i saw them!! tracy dimarco's wide tip flair nails are to die for. they are different, noticeable, and you can do soo many different styles wth them. i absolutely loved them !!! she normally does the white tips and pink nail beds, she says the white matches every outfit of hers as opposed to dramatic colors or patterns like olivia does with her nails. my nail beds are already super pink, so i don't need them. i just do the white flairs-- recently have been doing white glitter and pink glitter. it was my first time getting them done like that, and i think your nail beds need some getting used to.

For those who thought the "Jersey fad" was running out of steam, they better get a clue !! jersey shore is back in its fourth season, and more hilarious than ever && this show is still running. this defff proved them wrong. Its first season was the highest rated new series on the Style Network and now it returns for Season 4 premiering in a few months! i am super stoked that i am making it a huge deal--can you say  jerseylicious premiere party?!? i made a list of food i want and am gonna dedicate the whole night to Jerseylicious with my girls & of course make sure i dress the part as well :)) 

So back to Tracy.. she's a hair stylist but does amazing make up as well && has a great sense of fashion. she wears stuff i WISH i could get away with but i def dont have the balls too. as stated before, she has been dubbed the vixen of the show and her big hair and penchant for animal print makes her hard to ignore - not to mention she brings the drama.. which brings the ratings. lol so she makes the show soo much better.



when it comes down to it, the show mainly promotes that jersey girls are all about BIG hair, animal prints, fake nails, and big boobs.
............... which is A-OK in my book! hehe =]


oh and letts not forget tracy's jewelry. she is always sporting some type of amazing jewelry-- i am most in love with all of her earrings!! she actually has a line, i have only been able to buy one pair because they are quite expensive.

Here are some clips available on the show's network's web site: http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/videos/v50485_jerseylicious.html  



this list is a few things my favorite girl believes in & is always sure to reinforce on the show:

1.) a real girl loves having attitude but being sweet at the same time. She always sticks up for her girls no matter what!!! Chicks before d**ks!

2.) you need to love big hair and have a good tan -- spray tan, because its healthier -- and always leaves the house done up, looking your best!

3.) A REAL Jersey girl knows the real Jersey Shore... before it got turned into a huge joke TV show.

4.) you have to love animal print (of any kind) and has at least one room dedicated to the print in her house. -- I have always loved Leopard/Cheetah print, but lately am buying any animal print I see !! < 3
5.) you have to have fake eyelashes, fake nails, fake tan, fake hair (extensions)... but are the most honest and realest girl you'll ever meet! - that's so me ;D

6.) you gotta can rock any outfit you want and hold your head high, because you're confident.

7.) && you gotta know every bouncer in NJ clubs and they all know youu!! VIP all the wayyyy.

8.) oh, and she believes in you always being able to change from work attire to a club outfit in your car because you always carry around a full makeup kit, teasing comb, hairspray, shoes and clothes.
 
9.) A normal girl takes one item of jewelry off before leaving her house, but me? i put on three more pieces of jewelry on before leaving! --haha i love that one ;D

10.) "The higher the hair, the closer to God." nuff said.


work it baby girl, work it!!
okay my lesbian obsession post is finally come to an end.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

self control

i seriously have so many topics going through my mind right now, that i decided to write about none of them and instead turn to something that i have been lacking lately.

&& that is self control.

self-control is a vital part of who we are. Thoughts are our foundation because they direct our feelings. People with high self control don’t react to someone else’s emotions. They are able to think clearly and stay focused under pressure. No one can control the events or the people surrounding them, but they can control their own emotions and actions. I personally like to think i maintain self control in thee situations, but when i am alone i tend to slip.

[ x ] one thing i do to exercise my self control is choosing what i think about. when i feel i am able to control what feelings my thoughts are producing, i feel as if i am able to dictate what i will do or will not do, which in return leads me to be careful on what i dwell on. I started with meditation - this helped my anxiety tremendously.

[ x ]  i try not to let my feelings get the best of me. if, for instance, i know i am upset with someone or i am craving something i know i should not consume or have, i do something to get my mind off the situation; listen to music, write on this blog, scrapbook, write letters to my lil sister, exercise, or read to name a few. And if i still find myself dwelling on those things, i just simply pick up on another activity again.. and yes, this may take me doing this same activity several times before i am able to conquer your feelings but i eventually am able to do it.)

[ x ] this one may seem a bit obvious and silly, but really taking deep breaths is very VERY helpful. it seems to just calm me down, and also takes my mind off of it for a while. this is most helpful when i feel like i am losing my mind!

these basic little things are what i do to give myself a bit more control, and this is where perseverance comes it. it won’t be better the first time you try to have control but like everything else you will be able to control yourself better and faster with practice.

the reason why i wanted to make a blog out of this is because i'd like to point out that i don't think self control is only about keeping your cool when you are angry. its concept is more than that, it can also be about not complaining about a situation or someone, or even waiting to get something you really want now, or even choosing not to eat that extra cookie. these situations can affect our every day lives, and that is why i believe it is important to instill self control into ourselves so our younger generations can fall onto it as well. maybe by doing this we will have less anger impulse shootings and murders going on.

a quote by Aristotle was said to me by my sophomore year English teacher that has stuck with me ever since.. it's “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.”

the greatest victories we can have in our life is over ourselves. Self-control might be hard, but it is possible. encourage yourself and others to maintain control over themselves.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

dealing with resentful bitches.

i've dealt with the most turmoil last year. i don't know how the people i've considered my heart can be so judgmental, deceitful, and most of all resentful. i wanted to dig into resentment because i think it can come from all different types of people you associate yourself with -- not just family but coworkers, friends, or even neighbors.. even people you only considered acquaintances. however first, i think in order to learn how to deal with all of this, one must truly have a good understanding of what resentment is, its causes and the thoughts that linger in the resentful person’s mind.

i think resentful people have this constant belief that someone or something has harmed his or her well being on intention, and therefore has to be a spiteful bitch in return in order to feel even and/or happy. Personally, i think resentful bitches are usually an indication of weakness as the resentful person is someone who has failed to defend herself or has failed to stop others from harming her and therefore have no better way than becoming resentful towards them... assuming this is the way to go.

in order for these people not to hurt their egos, to admit failure or to carry responsibility lots of people decide to become resentful in order to throw the blame of all the bad things that happened to them on someone else. Because , ya know, after all is said and done, its hurts wayy less to say "life is unfair or evil" than to say I should have worked harder or i am a lazy fat slob.

oh and, keep in mind i am talking about resentful haters who you have NOT hurt intentionally but they think you have.. if you are dealing with a resentful person who you have intentionally screwed, then you can deal with that your own way on your own, sorry but karma is a bitch.

but i think that in many cases a person can incorrectly perceive some facts and become resentful without even making sure of the information he or she has in the least bit factual.

when it comes to preventing resentment, your role should really be on making sure that you don’t let the other people get you wrong, after all good communication skills is about not being misunderstood as much as you can even if you are doing nothing wrong.

but in my case, a lot of the resentment stems from jealousy. i truly believe underlying resentment can be feelings of jealousy from one person to another. for instance, having a girl believe that your success has proved them to be failures (how can someone's success bring pain?) or how she believes you may be in possession of things like a job that you don't deserve or that she should have..

communication is the number one way to combat these type of females.

you have to be able to give an explanation of your actions as much as you can if your actions will affect them directly.. whether you realize it initially or not. the way i prevent resentment is all about being clear so that you don’t get misunderstood. when the resentment comes to a point that i am not sure why or have not done anything intentionally, that's when you really have to sit that person down and just c.o.m.m.u.n.i.c.a.t.e !!!!!!!

Monday, May 05, 2014

people annoy me

May I rant?

Thanks!

I'm DONE with dumb, self-absorbed, selfish, stupid, mind draining, so-called 'friends', relatives, neighbors, etc. To them, THEIR life is the only life, THEIR illness is the only illness, THEIR child is the only child. Nobody in creation has ever been ripped off like them, back stabbed like them, hurt like them, pained like them, had a rotten childhood like them, had worse parents than them, had no parents like them, had a unique illness like them, had a holiday like theirs, had a life learning experience like them, had a bad boss like them - in fact, NOBODY has lived before in the whole of human history EXCEPT them. You get migraines - oh nothing like THEIR migraines, you have a problem - oh THEY had that happen but worse. I want to know something. How come they even know that anything was worse, better, more or ANYTHING at all when they are completely incapable of listening to anybody else for more than 5 secs. Their problems, their woes, THEIR fcken life story.

I can't stand two-faced people. I can't stand people who back stab. I can't stand people who lie. I can't stand people who have no spine. I can't stand people who only exist to make others feel less than. I can't stand people who compete for no good reason. I can't stand pretentious morons who have nothing to be pretentious about. I can't stand people who think they have all the answers after their life has proven to be a bleeding mess. I can't stand people who don't stand up for themselves. I can't stand people who ostracize those who do. I can't stand people who shrug at others' discomfort. I can't stand people who are hypocrites. I can't stand people who are selfish and self-centered. I can't stand people who never admit when they are wrong. I can't stand people who wreak havoc in others' lives and then distance themselves from the spoilage. I can't stand people who never understand anything you say to them, no matter how bluntly you make your statement. I can't stand people who behave as though you just killed ten grandmothers because you said a curse word, especially when they know it was deserved. I can't stand judgmental idiots. I can't stand people who only see the bottom line. I can't stand people who don't see the bigger picture. I can't stand people who are ignorant and want to be. I can't stand people who never heard of standing by a person, right or wrong, unless of course, they've raped or killed someone.

I am angry that so many assholes get away with so much evil bullshit in this stupid world of ours. Why do things have to be this way? Can't we just build a big catapult and toss all the assholes out into space? Right into the sun so they can burn into ashes. That would make me feel a lot better, for sure. Of course, yeah, I know, some asshole out there is going to say, how do you define who's an asshole and who's not? well, for one thing, i have my own personal shit-list, and you'll just have to trust me, it's 100% accurate about all the people on it being assholes. But, okay, say that's not quite good enough for you (what are you, some kind of asshole or something?). say you want to at least test people before sticking them on the catapult, to make absolutely sure they're assholes. Fortunately, nothing could be easier. Here's the simple answer:

a: if someone is a pathological liar, that's a prime symptom of assholeness.

b: if someone treats you like absolute shit absolutely all the time, that's them being an asshole.

c: if someone treats you nice all the time, but then goes and says something mean about you to someone else, then they belong on the honor roll in the hall of shame for worthless assholes.

d: just about anybody who works for a telemarketing firm is a stinky, hairy, shit-ringed asshole.

i can go on &&& on but i don't want to overload the catapult. :)

&& lastly, what i really cannot stand are fake friends. friends tell you they're there for you, but when you try to vent, they get pissed off at you and turn it around so you end up comforting them. THANK GOODNESS FOR THIS BLOG. lol I am annoyed by friends that say they will never judge you, but when shit hits the fans they talk so much shit about how fucked up you are. well news flash sweetie-- we're allllllll fucked up one way or another. && what i hate is when people assume shit and start talking shit when they have no validity to their statements at all whatsoever.

with all this hate, i still manage to have a heart of gold & wear a smile at all times.

especially now that my venting is over ;D Thanks guys!

Happiness is a state of being

If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse. Money will not bring you happiness. ...