Monday, December 16, 2013

new years eve dresses xx


woo! who is as excited to get the hell away from 2013 as i am ?? i was recently invited to this huge N.Y.E party, and after going through my wardrobe, i just said "forget it-- great glam it is" is a website with the most gorgeous dresses, shoes, any thing glam for the very cheap! i have known about it for quite a while, i figured it's time to share one of my best kept secrets (BTW def thinking of creating a blog hop on "best kept secrets" LOL ) all the dresses i am listing below were between $25-30 each. now remember i was opting for a more calm, but sexy look. I didn't want extreme patterns, or bright bright colors because it is a black and white party. i went for a more subtle look because quite frankly i am so sick of all the stares. haha

This is an all black jumpsuit that i know is kind of 'out there' if you knew any thing about my style. lol i am considering it for it's warmth, as well as to play it up with accessories. i was thinking of my bright red waist belt with the matching close-toed pumps i have in red as well. Of course a red-matte lipstick and black eye make up.

I see this type of style on Kim Kardashion a lot. She does the whole waist accentuated bit. i want it because i have a very round bottom half, and think this dress would make that look a bit more ... tight? lol

Unlike the model, I was thinking a tight pony tail with a bump-it oomph, long dangling sparkly earrings with black pumps.

Unlike the model, my chest is very far from bulging out. i think because of that fact this dress would look sooo much more fabulous on me. I have black pimps with leopard print on the bottom sole that would do perfectly with this. Black dangling earrings and bangles, no necklace.

Again, minimal chest thing works to my advantage with these types of dresses. i really like being able to breath but yet keeping my curves in check lol This isn't one of my favorites, but definitely a consideration because i have metallic bangles that would match nicely with the metallic stripes on the top.

This is one of my favorites. I just love the sleeves. Not to mention I have a waist belt just like the ones on the elbows. Hair straight down, a minimal necklace and my sparkly pumps. they kind of have a gold tint to them though so i may just decide to do the black pumps.

Okay I think I narrowed it down enough. Can my beautiful followers help me out by picking your favorite one ?? Also my "ideas" for what to wear and howto accessorize the outfits is deffff up for debate as well.

Help me out mamasitas!!

xox rica

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

forgetting the past & looking towards the future xx

 Hey there bloggers,

I want to get serious for this post. I know, a bit out of the norm, but its very much needed. i'm not where I want to be but thank GOD, I'm not where I used to be. I'm OK, and i'm on my way. && that makes me VERY content right now.

But as i sit in this place i shall call my temporary home, i turn on my TV to catch a few minutes of a program about the children of convicts on E!. I believe the message of this program was that you don’t have to follow in your parents’ footsteps. The program ended with the following comment made by one of the children: “It’s not where you come from… it’s where you choose to go.”

as I heard that comment, I was reminded of all the people who feel trapped in their present life due to their past. I’m sure there are many of you reading this today who feel like a prisoner because of your past. Well, I’m here to challenge that belief and reiterate the wisdom that I heard on that TV program. So regardless of where you come from, the question really is… where are you choosing to go?

i know when it comes to letting go of the past, there are so many challenges that can arise from even trying to do so. But I wanted to point out at least a few reasons why i think you should just go for it, and see where it takes you!

reason #1: you SURVIVED.

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. no matter what you have been through! if you are reading this, then you have survived your troubles! that should be a good enough reason to move on and make yourself a better person for the future. never let anyone bring you down and tell you that you should be sad over anything.

disclaimer: unfortunately, there have been some people who went through just as much as you went through and didn't make it out of the situation. i have not completely disregarded these people, so please don't consider me being ignorant that i assumed we all have survived each trial and tribulation because that is soo not the case..i am merely trying to point out that one should be glad and rejoice that he or she has made it to another stage in their life.

reason #2: resentment = more problems

Just face it. Nobody likes to be around a person who is always dwelling over the past. When you are just beginning to move on from any situation that may have happened to you and you make better situations worse by comparing them to your past. That is not the way to be. If you start to notice things are getting better, then take them for what they are. Do not try to nit-pick them and make them into bad situations when they are not. It is logical, that when you start to appreciate all the good around you and let go of resentment, that more good will follow for you.

reason #3: you're more than likely the ONLY person lingering on this.

I can almost guarantee someone, somewhere let this issue go a loooooong time ago. Usually, if you've had a bad experience with another person that caused you pain and betrayal, they do not hold the problem over their heads like you may be. This is bad, because it may mean that they let it go and may have had indifferent emotions towards what you call pain. So, the best thing for you to do is to act indifferent towards it. If not, then it shows that the person still has some sort of power over you that you just cannot seem to let go. So, prove to yourself that you have complete control over your emotions. You are the only person that you may need to prove that to.

i hope all that makes sense. i know i should practice what i preach, but for some reason i have always been better at giving advice as opposed to listening to it. i seem to deal with this quite often myself. i'm going through a difficult time right now, but i am not dwelling on playing the victim role-- i am dwelling on the fact that i have SURVIVED. i have made it through the hardest part of this ordeal, and only the best is yet to come. what has been does not have to affect what could be, and i really have to let that seep through my bird brain. ;)

so here i am now, tuning into the boob tube. just a second ago, i lost the remote in my covers, so i tossed the blanket & the remote flies towards my face with ninja speed! legit had a heart attack. but now, i am tuning in on the season finale of Sons of Anarchy. WOW, it is so good! I legit cried at the ending, even though I cannot stand Jax's wife Tara. I really wish they had casted me for her part, hehe ;) And also thinking.. wow, i am really infatuated with Charlie Hunnum. All that yumminesss!!! Back to the topic at hand, thank you all for baring with me with this post. I know it is very different from the norm; however I think posts like these are very much needed even if once a year. After all self reflection is the best way to move forward in life. I have been reflecting on my life quite a bit lately; and rather than feeling unfulfilled or upset with it, i realize life is a rollercoaster. It is a rollercoaster that I am sometimes very frightened by-- so much that i do not want to open my eyes at what is in front of me. As well as at other times I am opening my arms wide open ready to take in all that is coming my way. Either way it goes, this is a rollercoaster I am NOT getting off any time soon.

Thanks for reading, i love you all so much!

Rica xox

Thursday, December 05, 2013

tanning 101 xx

disclaimer: this is going to be a very thorough post-- very long and picture heavy. i was not paid by any company, these are all items I purchased on my own based on my results. this post is for informational purposes only. please refrain from posting negative comments. thank you :)

Ladies & gents!! it is that time of year when indoor tanning salons make the big bucks!! We all want our natural Summer tan to last all throughout the cold harsh Winter, so in order to do that we can maintain it with indoor tanning. I want to let you all in on the knowledge I have gained from my own experiences and working in beauty salons as a tanning professional for 4+ years.

Here is a picture of most of my tanning items I use on a bi-weekly basis :

tanning background xx
ok, here is the boring but very necessary knowledge you should know prior to indoor tanning. first let us begin with how the beds work.

There is the vertical or 'stand up' beds. These are my favorite as I am a germaphobe and do not like to lay down on a bed millions of others were on unless I know the tanning girl who cleans the beds, and trust her cleaning. Stand Up beds also provide a 100% even tan, as opposed to the horizontal beds which cannot get your pressure points (parts of body you're putting most pressure on when laying down) such as your lower back, and under your butt cheeks ;] Also under your arms, and your feet! The horizontal beds are ideal for relaxing though.

Then there are low pressured beds with UVB rays and high pressured beds with UVA rays.
Okay, so there are level 1-6 tanning beds. Every salon has different beds, but usually the levels 1, 2 and 3 are UVB bulbs. Beds 4, 5, and 6 are UVA bulbs. The difference between the two is UVB bulbs penetrate the skin plateau way deeper giving you a base tan that lasts longer because it goes deeper. This is why it is pertinent you start with a level one bed if you are new to tanning, or if you are fair skinned. The UVA Bulbs only penetrate the top two layers of the skin which is beneficial for maintaining a tan. The higher the level, the more high pressured the bulbs are. So in short, UVB starts the tanning process by stimulating the tanning cells to produce pigment, and UVA rays darken the melanin that has been produced maintaining an overall tan.

tanning necessities & wants xx
okay, so now that we got the boring technical stuff out of the way -- onto the goodies! this involves shopping-- woo hoo ;) what do you need when you are going to tan? personally, I have my own purse for tanning LOL what that bag includes are: (I included pictures of my items below, read on to see!)

[-] hair tie to tie your hair up
[-] lip balm because your lips are very likely to burn or dry out quickly
[-] my jewelry holder case to store my jewelry in when I am in the tanning bed
[-] change of clothes-- usually sweats/gym clothes I don't care if they get stained, etc.
[-] my tanning lotions-- my body lotion, face lotion, accelerator,& post-tan extender. (picture below)
[-] my stickers, eye protectors, nail and toe protectors, hair net protector. (picture below of mine)
[-] mini towel to wipe myself off after tanning
[-] hair heat protectant spray-- yes I am a freak about it! my hair is past my butt, so I am very anal on keeping it healthy, and tanning beds are extreme damage.

well, by law, you absolutely need eye protection. Sunglasses do not cut it. These are eye protectors that all tanning salons sell, but they are universally the same thing. Little half egg couplets that rest on your eyes. I have a picture of mine, plus the convenient case they come in. I have two, one I keep in my car and the other in my tanning purse.

In addition to the tanning stickers to place any where on your skin to judge the depth of your tan after every session, there are many other cosmetics you can use while tanning. Check out the picture to the side, you can really see the difference in shading huh?? I just love this idea of tanning stickers! :)

Tanning salons have many different kinds of stickers including peace signs, thunder bolts, hearts, play boy bunnies, stars, palm trees, little guns, hello kitty, and many many more. the main three are hearts, thunder bolts, playboy bunnies, and palm trees. i love the hearts and stars, but switch it up in the summer time. it usually takes 2-4 sessions to notice a different in shade. the stomach is the best spot as our stomachs seem to tan the hardest.

One of my new cosmetics I am trying is the teeth whitening system. Below is a picture of the two products I bought at my local tanning salon. Both were very expensive, but I saw results after one use and am very pleased. As with any teeth whitener, use occasionally with caution.

The bleach bright is this little teeth whitening gel accelerator light you put this gel on it and then place your lips over the plastic lip, an turn the light on, and for 10 minutes you can do one session of whitening. This can be done any where, not just in a tanning bed.

This is unlike the little blue boxes titled "LA Teeth Whitening" which is a gel you paint on your teeth prior to your tanning session, and the tanning bed rays do the whitening.

Both products were $45+ but very worth it!!

 It is the bleach bright product, and the LA Teeth Whitening product-- I have four of them because I Love it so much! LOL Both products are about $45 each;
however you get a discount when you buy multiple at once like I did!
Ok, It is driving me nuts that this picture is uploading sideways.
It is right side up in my documents. I will just live with it -- lol

 Another product I absolutely love are the sprays my tanning salon carries. 


One is GLO Naked which is a body shimmering spray. It makes you skin silky smooth, and shimmers the right amount without overdoing it. I use it on my legs only unless I am going somewhere where I will be in water-- then I will do my entire body. 

The other product is Bare Shine Hair Spray. This spray is ideal for protecting it from heat, especially tanning bed heat which is why it is recommended to apply to hair prior to tanning.
I love the smell of both the sprays, and they were about $16 each.

Tan Extenders
 Below are three different lotions I love to use. White bottle is the HEMP NATION tan extender, middle blue bottle is Kardashian Glow Tan Extender, and far right is Aloe There tan Extender.
I have used HEMP NATION and Kardashian Glow, not the Aloe There yet. 

My favorite is the Kardashian Glow Tan Extender. There was a time I was on vacation and did not tan for over three weeks, and still maintained my sun kissed bronze and I believe it was due to this lotion.

 Next we have two products most tanning bed users do not know about. They are 'Nail Savers."
As you tan more and more, if you have acrylic nails on all the time like I do, you will notice your nails start turning green or yellow. it is disgusting, and I do not ever want to see it happen to my nails so I use prevention and use these babies on my nails! I do not have any thing but polish on my toes, so I do not use the toe savers, but some girls do! to each their own, right? =]

tanning basics  xx
Many people wonder what they should wear to the tanning salon. This is very much based on your own preference. I know many women who come right from work in their dressy work clothes and do not mind. I personally carry a change of clothes in my tanning tote bag for when i get out of the tanning bed, so what i wear TO the salon is irrelevant.

Now, when it comes to what you should wear IN the bed -- this is also personal preference. Some people are absolutely appalled at the mere thought of laying in a tanning bed naked, especially knowing that someone else laid in that tanning bed naked. Others could care less, and trust their tanning salon to properly sanitize the bed before they get into it. Their are a lot of different views on this particular question, and it all comes down to one very simply answer: wear whatever you are comfortable in, and remember that you will get tan lines. if you wear your bathing suit every time, you will have tan lines that reflect that. This is why I go 100% naked!!! ;]

tanning lotions xx
I will add a few basics here but I have a separate blog post on lotions which answers which lotions are my favorite and least favorite; why do we need lotions; what is inside the lotions; why are they so expensive; and what the different types of lotions are and which are beneficial to your skin type. Very informative post!! The link will be provided when i am finished with it. For now here are some of the basic lotions i use. Face lotion and a body lotion. Designer Skin is my favorite brand.

sunless tanning xx
Most salons do have a market for sunless tanning, as with the very well known tanning horror stories-- many people turn to sunless tanning to as a means to an end. lol Below are products that L.A. Tan has which is my go to tanning salon. VersaSpa Pro is the newest machine they have which provides an amazingly even sunless glow with four different levels to choose from. Below are pre tan exfoliants, moisturizers, and after tan extenders all used with sunless tanning for a better, richer, longer lasting glow.

I sunless tan when i want a dark bronze color in the shortest amount of time -- for instance a couple days before a wedding, etc. always sunless tan 48-72 hours prior to an event! You may have streaking, but more importantly the sunless tan takes that long for its truest color to develop!

very frequently asked questions xx
I hear these questions asked in the salon I go to the most. if you have any other questions, chances are I will more than likely know the answer. Please just leave it in the comment section below and depending on the question, I might even add it to my post, of course with your name and blog next to it for the great recommendation, and my best and most honest answer! thanks babes! xx

[x] why doesn't the entire body tan at the same rate? there are lotions specifically made for the face, for the legs, etc as those tend to not tan as fast/dark as the mid section of the body. my abs tan the hardest-- my stomach is SUPER dark. The fact, however, is an exposed area. With a mix of  the day's lotions, make-up, sweat, bacteria and other substances-- they all act as a barrier to a portion of the UV light.  Also, we all wash our face which  tends to rub off skin cells more so than on other parts of the body.

[x] why doesn't the tan last? well some of you may not know this but, the skin's repair mechanism consists of the top skin layer (epidermis) replacing all it's skin cells every 28 to 30 days. A tan can only be maintained by repeated exposure to the UV light in the beds.

[x] should I shower before or after tanning?
It would be better if you showered first, exfoliate and MOISTURIZE ---then used the bronzer. The easiest way to make a distinction is to think of bronzers as a form of make-up. Self-tanners can last up to a few days, even with showering, because they produce a chemical reaction in the skin. If you’re after a longer lasting effect, exfoliate your skin prior to using a self-tanner. If you don’t exfoliate first, it’s like using car polish on a paint job that is oxidized. For a longer lasting effect you would first use a compound to get rid of the oxidized paint, and then use a polish! get it!? also, you do not want to be streaky because you showered prior to the recommended 4-6 hours. However, there are now types of tanning lotions such as natural bronzers which allow you to shower immediately after you tan for situations such as you going out that night, etc.

Last but not least -- stay hydrated!!! your skin needs to regenerate, and stay moisturized!! keeping hydrated it very important in developing a great, but safe tan!! 

that's all i can think of right now, but as stated above if you have any questions let me know and I will add them into my post with your name and blog next to it thanking you for the recommendation! :)

Wow, am I finally done!? Seems like it took forever!! Thank you all so much for reading, I truly love each and every one of my readers. Remember I am no longer a tanning professional, but was one for 4 years. All the information in this post is based on those years of experience. things may have changed in the past 6 months that I have no longer been a tanning professional; so forgive me if I provided information that is no longer correct. Always do your research!!!

thank you my lovelies <3

Rica x0x

Monday, December 02, 2013

Drug Store Everyday Item Haul xx

 Hello beauty queens !!! since I have been slacking on posting I am determined to get my ass in gear and post all the blogs that have been drafts for months and months. LOL I am on a roll, I already finished four blog posts! see what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it? ;)

So I wanted to share a quick haul of quick, affordable, personal items you can get at your local drugstore. I desperately needed new everyday panties, and every day make up products.
Check them out below !!

I have been having a very hard time finding a good, thick, winter cover up that is not going to make me look pasty or gross.

I bought the Just Face It by Hard Candy because I have used the Glamoflauge heavy duty concealer and fell in love with that product. I am hoping the cover up will be of the same consistency however due to the fact that I have gone through over four different foundations and have not been fully happy with any of them-- I am not counting on it.

Has any one used this foundation?
Now that I have tried each and every product, i will share my review.
Just Fact It by Hard Candy: Only thing I liked about this product is that it provided great coverage. However, the strangest thing is these little flakes of what looks to be plastic were all over my face after application. It doesn't make my skin break out, but it does last all day. this foundation does NOT work well with contouring/blending. Any blending at all, it also dries really quickly. I used the medium (363) shade.

I tried the Revlon Photo Ready Airbrush Foundation, and was not happy with it at all. I knew it was going to be a light consistency -- just not THAT light. I felt like I got barely any coverage. It's greasy, dispenses only huge amounts at a time, doesnt stay on, and again, the coverage is poor! 
I will NOT be repurchasing this product.

The Loreal True Match Natural Powder is one of my all time favorite holy grail products in which i have reviewed before. nothing bad to say about that product other than I wish the brush was softer :)
my shade is natural beige 

Wal-Mart panties are actually some of my favorite panties to wear. LOL It is hard to believe, but they fit nicely, last a long time, and some can be very sexy and sultry ;) They are only like $2.99 each so I always buy 5-10 pairs at a time. I bought 7 pairs above, along with No Nonsense 6 pack of white and black socks.

Two new mascaras
One is the Loreal Telescopic which is a very comb like brush to add length to your lashes.  This mascara barely clumps, the brush is  ideal for lengthening. One thing I would note is that if you were looking for a lot of volume in your lashes, this mascara won't give you volume. That is why I also use ....
The other Maybelline falsies mascar! THIS mascara is the volume queen bee. LOL it applies evenly, does not clump, and is a perfect combo with the lorel telescopic. Only negative about both is that it is very hard to remove them at night time. 

Three new lip glosses!!
Rimmel London Show Off Lacquer -- Shade: Light Year. this gloss is super pigmented, very glossy, and i found myself wiping the outside of my lips every five minutes because it just did NOT want to stay ON my lips. Perhaps it would work better going over a lipstick so it has something to latch onto. Besides that, the color is gorgeous!

Lip infallible and Loreal Truffle are two simple glosses I use for every day events.

Two new lipsticks !! 

Maybelline Super Stay 14hr matte lipstick in Beige Foregood -- this is one of my holy grail products. Be sure to exfoliate your lips prior to any matte lip products as if not, your lips will look gross. I love the conveniant little container, they have great color selection-- long lasting, and very true to color. Only con would be some of the colors I like have shimmer in them and others do not. I wish they had it all universally the same with or without shimmer, as I dont like the shimmer part. Drying Shimmer doesnt feel right.

Revlon Color Burst Lip in Creme Brulee -- LOVE this lipstick. it is a nude & cafe mocha mixed in one topped with shimmer. you get a decent color pay off and it does moisturize. But I have very dry lips from having bad allergies, therefore this product will emphasis them when worn alone. I tried applying a clear balm prior to application, and loved it.

Aveeno Positively Ageless Skin Strengthening Lotion

I was literally out of travel size hand lotion, and quickly scanned the lotion isle for a miniature aveeno lotion. i almost never go wrong with any aveeno products. and this product was no different.

i generally use it after i wash my hands, as i do 1000x a day, and some times feel i do not need to reapply after a hand wash just with how moisturized my skin feels.

it smells great, very soft and moisturizing. the littlest bit spreads very evenly and covers greatly. it is not the least bit greasy. i absolutely love aveeno lotions <3

Here is a really cool picture of the sky as I was walking out of the drug store, doesn't it look pretty cool? I love the sky-- and since I am out far west of the city the majority of the time, I see the sky so much clearer as opposed to seeing it with all the city's polution blocking its beauty. Ahh.. soothing, isn't it? :)

That wraps up my quick drug store haul. Nothing special, just a few every day items. I really am interested in finding a good maximum coverage foundation. have any of my readers have any recommendations?

Thanks for reading !!

Rica xo

Sunday, November 03, 2013

a look into my life xx

Hello my beautiful readers!

I have been slacking on posting so I want to get back into the groove of things. I do not know how some of my favforite bloggers do it with posting every week, even twice a week like Mindy at Broken Eggshells! Jeeezzzz girl, give me what ever you're having! ;)

So much is going on with me I do now know where to start. This year has been one of the most rollercoaster rides I have ever been through. It has also been one of the hardest. However you can't expect to swim to the shore without making it past the sharks right?

Let's start with some amazing news. My eldest brother had his second baby boy. I have him pictured below at two days old. He is like 'get that camera outta my face auntie-- no more!!" LOL

 My brother has another son whom is two years old, and I figured since all the attention is on his baby brother -- I would buy him some presents to play with so he does not feel left out!

Over are some of the items I bought him. The total was only like $70 at Target!!! And from the sounds of it, my nephew is getting my moneys worth with how much he plays with it all !! all smiles for auntie!!! b

The next thing I had on my busy schedule was redoing a horrific bedroom. I took a thousand pictures, but the main ones that are my greatest sense of accomplishment are the ones below.
Be ready to be amazed.
My boyfriend and I went to town on his bedroom.
It went from bachelor pad yucky man room to a room out of a catalog !!
We redid the floors, the walls, the furniture, all of it.
 Look for yourself with more pictures down below!!

The room is absolutely amazing .
But the transformation that is my absolute most proud feat is.....


are you ready for it ??!?!!? be sure, cus there is no going back !!! ;)

TO  ...... THIS!!!

It is breathtaking isn't it? we did it right in time for the fall colors to pop out in the forest behind the house. I love waking up to this every morning. It was such hard work but we pulled through doing it all ourselves with our own two hands. we appreciate it so much more than if someone else did it.
The best transformation of all was my closet.
Take a freakin look at this monstrous pathetic excuse of a closet!!

We went from THAT ^^ to a beautiful, vibrant, room that is sure to have your mouth dropped!!! LOL

I know, what a difference right? I absolutely love it. The closet is not yet finished. we are getting some organizers up, for clothes, purses, etc but the change so far is dramatic enough !!

Here are a few other pictures I took!!
view from the entrance door
Notice the new floors, the new paint on the walls, the black doors and trim--
we redid it ALL !!

     The closet doors and my wonderful new mirror <3

&& of course my enjoying the new room <3

I also bought a few indoor tanning items I really wanted. Now that it is freezing outside, I am going to the indoor tanning beds. I am actually writing a long and informational post on tanning and all that goes with it so look for it in the near future!

I bought a daily beauty maintenance pack from JWOWs line. It includes a face cleanser, exfoliator, and moisturizer. It was $60 but again, you are buying the name more than you are buying the product. I normally do not do this, but I have been proven again and again with JWOWs products from her indoor tanning lotions to her bikinis -- she does only use grade a products.

the middle bright blue bottle is the Kardashian Glow tan extender. I really needed one. I have heard so many good things about tan extenders being useful for when you need to temporarily stop tanning, but want your tan to last throughout that time. I used it for vacation and it worked wonderfully. This was $80 but again. it is because of the Kardashian name. LOL

The last item is the Bleach Bright Teeth Whitening system which is my absolute favorite product of all three. You do not need to use this in a tanning bed only, you can do it at any time because it comes with its own UV light that you conveniently place in your mouth.

That about wraps up my new "life update" post !!

How are things going in your lives? send me the link to your guys' posts if you do any lifestyle posts like this! I love doing them as it gives your readers a look into the lives of the person behind the blog, ya know what I mean? it can make your readers connect more if they feel they can relate to you on more levels than just beauty. I also love to share such good news !!! ;)

This was soooo hard to do on my tablet, that is why it has taken sooo long but it is worth it.
thanks for reading loves!!

Rica xx

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

the EX factor xx

have you ever had an issue of your man's ex wanting to be friends with him again?
 do you agree with your man should be friends with a past lover?
what about his feelings on you being good friends with a man you have once been intimate with?

i personally am so against the whole EX still being involved in the guy's life especially given there is nothing between them like Kids or any bills in both of their names, etc.

i also don't agree with males having female BEST friends to begin with. i’m especially miffed by MARRIED men who have female best friends. i mean, forgive me if i am crazy for saying so but isn't that who your wife is supposed to be? I think having someone of the opposite sex to lean on, well unless it's a sibling/relative.. is an unnecessary temptation and a potential leak of intimacy between partners. temptation is a natural feeling, and very VERY easy to break into. So why even put yourself in that position?

Although it may be possible to have casual sex with a friend, even this can damage a relationship. As hard as it is to accept, it's difficult to bring a relationship back to its normal state after having been intimate with someone. You will always have an image of that person naked, and memories of the intimate encounters will always be triggered by the smell of her skin or perfume, or say a moment him and his new girl say something sexual, etc. or even by hearing a song that you once made passionate love to. Anything can trigger that awkward moment, which is what I would HATE if I were that new girl, and knew my man and this chick just got reminded of a time they had sex-- it'd drive me nuts!

And as thick-skinned as you are, it's hard to see the person in the same light after being entangled in each other's skin and sharing a moment of complete pleasure with one another-- especially if it was AMAZING SEX.

Not to mention, there will always be one-sided bitterness. this is mainly because breakups are rarely one-sided, one person will always feel resentment or bitterness toward the other. Even if your ex is feigning friendship, she's not sincerely your friend. If it seems like plans with your new potential woman are always being sabotaged, they just might be... and that's when jealousy comes into play.

&& where there's bitterness, there's jealousy.

And the truth of the matter is that it's hard to be sincerely happy for your ex when she's just found the new love of her life.

However, just because one person may have moved onto another person does not necessarily mean she is over her past lover... It's human nature to be jealous or resentful when our ex finds a new person to cuddle up to, even if our feelings have somewhat faded. It becomes a race of who will find the new lover first, a challenge especially brought on by the person who was dumped. Even for the person who did the breaking up, the thought of someone else taking your place in the memories that you and your ex shared is hard, and sometimes extremely painful to fathom because that passion still exists. Even if your relationship was completely problem-ridden, chances are that the passion and sexual chemistry between the two of you still exists.

This is a recipe for disaster because it means that every time you get together under this new "friendship" premise, the lust and passion you have makes it more likely that you'll end up in "one more" night of unbridled "goodbye" sex, for old times' sake. This brings you right back to square one -- how you felt right after your breakup, and just when you were doing so well with movin on..

Leaving the past behind is hard enough, and you don't want part of your past still programmed in your cell phone. Although it's easier for the dumper, recovering from a breakup is still a hard thing to do since it means being single again, getting back into the dating scene and no longer making that daily goodnight call you and your ex used to share but having that person lingering in your life as a constant reminder makes it even harder to move on with your life, meet new people and turn a fresh page. It's almost like keeping one foot in the past, and another struggling to make it back into the pickup scene.

In a perfect world, the ideal would be for exes to succeed at being friends, but in one where bitterness, jealousy, passion, and human nature exceed reasoning and rational thought, it's impossible. Unless the two of you were the best of friends before, both broke up on the same terms in a perfectly mutual breakup, both have no qualms about either of you seeing new people, and have both instilled a policy of total honesty, you're better to leave the friendship behind... along with the memories.

Regardless of what anyone says, I will always believe the idea of a man and a woman being best friends is charming but improbable. it always leads to something else.. meaning that the relationship eventually becomes romantic or physically intimate.

What do you think? Does your guy have a female best friend? Are you okay with it?

xox rica

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

hi hater xx

hey babes!

disclaimer:: i am a city girl. i grew up in 'the hood' i refuse to be a product of my environment, but sometimes i do get down to my roots. this post is an example of that. =P this is a very blunt and profane post discussing the affects some females are having on me right now. i do not need you to tell me how i should not let them affect me, etc. this is my blog, i post what i want.

I am getting really sick and tired of all this female talking shit about me every chance she may get. Last time I checked, we were done with high school and all the bullshit games that were played throughout those years. We are all adults now, and whether your living quality is different from while you were in high school or not, your mentality should be.

This 'he said she said' talk is soo juvenile. One thing that annoys me is when someone hears something through the grapevine and assume there is a tiny bit of even the smallest fraction of truth behind it. That just makes you look highly idiotic. i feel i need to address some aspects of your hating, and this will be the one and only time you will hear me do so.

It is so annoying when a girl reads something and ASSUMES its about her. if it were to you, it would have YOUR NAME on it. When I want to say something, I will be the first to let YOU know I am talking about YOU. I don't do what you do and hide behind your statuses and posts. Grow a pair && let me know when you have a problem with me. Stop playing these guessing games.

Haters. To me, a hater is someone who is jealous and envious of another and spends all their time trying to make that person look small so they can look tall. Well, I got news for you. I am ALWAYS standing ten toes tall. Haters are very negative people to say the least && therefore try to bring their negativity all up in and around your world to bring you to their level. Well here is some more news -- you are not even ON my level and there is no way I am going down a few steps to make things more clearer for your incompetent no education having ass to understand.

So what do I do to keep to myself and the haters level at a minimum? Here are a few ideas:

[x] knowing who I AM, as well as who my true friends are.. which i realized some of the ones who were last year are no longer this year.. not by my decision, by their actions. end of story.

[x] having a purpose to my life, a direction and following it, maintaining my path and not letting roadblocks stop me permanently. i'm sorry your life is so out of wack & you don't even know which way is up and down; but do not push that shit on me. i have enough of my own hurdles to jump over, and do not need yours.

[x] By remembering what i have is by divine prerogative and not human manipulation.

[x] by reminding myself, you do not really hate me. you hate yourself because i am a relfection of what you wish you were.

Some of us focus so much on having haters that we ultimately turn into one ourselves. People just love to talk. Why? because if you notice, the person who talks the most, is the one who people go to the most. they go to that one person to know if certain rumors are true, etc. the biggest gossiper sort of creates this credibility that is only factual in the hater world. As far as i am concerned, this person is a bottom feeder and is so insecure with her pathetic self that she needs to point out negative things on others to make herself feel good about herself.. ya know the typical 13 year old-- but unfortunately there are 26 yr olds with that same mentality.

But let's face it [i know you bitches are all up on every single page i own] when you make your mark, you will always attract some haters. and when you got haters, that means you've stood up for something in your life. You are doing some thing right. That is why you have to be careful with who you share your blessings and your dreams with because some people cannot handle seeing you blessed. How do you handle your undercover haters? Do not show any emotions. which is why i do not comment on your every mesg and post you post about me because i want it to be clear that my life comes first, not yours.

You seriously think you affect me? By not responding to your pathetic messages is my way of showing you that you do not exist in my world. You do not matter, and I refuse to feed into your bullshit. You all are a whirlwind of D R A M A that will not ever slow down even if you DO become renters, MOMS, career people, etc. that mentality is still going to be in you because why? that is just how you are. You cannot stand to see a finer girl, a smarter girl, a richer girl, etc. So when one comes along, you try your hardest to affect her when she is LITERALLY so above you. It is not my fault you tell me how great my body is and then when we are arguing you sit and talk shit about it-- why be so fake in the beginning and say the opposite of what you truly felt?? i don't get why girls do that. You would allllllllways tell me oh you are so this and so that, but then the second i don't respond to you i am automatically an anorexic bitch-- hate to break it to you bitch but the only thing thin on my is my waist, the only thing thin on your is your wallet.

i am currently listening to my amazing nicki minaj CD Pink Friday ---this album is perfect setting for listening to the perfect rapper bitch inform you all on how to handle the very pathetic females i am speaking about in this post.

So as a closing to this much needed blog post, i will say this. . . .

If you think you can threaten me, and think that i am now looking over my shoulder at every stop light, at every mall/store/restaurant in the area, you best think again.

You mean N O T H I N G to me.

I will tear you apart. I could snap you in two. You don't know me. To a select few, I thought by screwing my brothers you would at least know about them and consider me the same since ya know, we're related, grew up together, trained together, and pretty much have the same views and opinions and physical features--- but no, you can't put two and two together.

So what's going to happen? You're going to dig your dumb into a grave sooo deep that all I am going to have to do is sprinkle some dirt over your head, and buh bye. away you go buried a fucken live. For the rest of you, do not pretend your my best friend while you go behind my back and talk shit about me to our mutual friends. You act like since they knew you first or something that they will not tell me what you said. I know everything. You NEVER know where I am or what I am listening to. I got connections you wouldn't be able to dream of in your wildest imagination. So keep that in mind next time you wanna act up because best believe you WILL get smacked up.

lastly, i suggest you get over yourself, realize you have OTHER responsibilities in your life that you should focus your energy into like hmm.. your child!!!! and not run around trying to pick physical fights with girls twice your size.. cus i'd hate for your son to see you with two black eyes & mistake you for a raccoon :)

And lastly, I have SOOOO much more for you to be jealous of. be patient.

Rica Marie ..... *

xox rica

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

judgment sucks xx

judgment sucks.

i know i say that too often. but it's freaking true. i always start with the belief that all people are good. i want to just have faith in the human race. people in general have flaws. if you wanna talk about flaws you are preaching to the choir, darling. you will always have the benefit of the doubt from me, until you personally mess with me. I've always been that way, but for some reason i think i have "sucker" printed somewhere on my body, because everyone seems to just mistake me for one.

so I'm going to fill you in on a little bit about myself. girls just love talking about themselves, and i am no different. i just feel i am different from many girls. but of course once i go into how i am different, any girl reading it will respond with "omggg we are SO alike, we are long lost sisters!!" which sure, maybe we are. but since when are sisters completely alike?

i could watch YouTube for hours, I'm obsessed with beauty tips and make up videos. and i can listen to music all hours of the day. i often tivo new or my favorite music videos to learn the dances. i research psychology like nobody's business, along with sharks and outer space when i'm bored. I'm awkward and obscene. i hate illiteracy, indecision, and heartbreak. i hate lies, ignorance, un-manicured fingernails and toenails, & girls who claim they're so insecure yet act like conceited sluts half the time.

At the time I initially wrote this blog, I spent a big part of my life worrying and keeping composure for people in the end who weren't who i thought they loyalty hasn't changed, my faith in a lot of things hasn't changed, but my faith in people has..I'm aware i don't take anything seriously anymore, but if u were to turn to someone and say "whats the deal with felicia"-- i am positive Ur not going to get an answer along the lines of degrading my name or rep..

i have always had one boyfriend my entire life. this has kept me out of sooo much drama. when you think about it girls get into fights these days over boys. its ridiculous, but the truth.

with that being said ...

welcome to my new blog about La Bella Vita ... which allows you to get inside my thoughts, my opinions, everything on my beautiful life.

raw & uncut.
xox rica

Monday, September 09, 2013

I'm Not Really A Waitress #NOTD xx

I had a good night last night. Not only was there finally a shitload of snow, blah but pretty :) but i woke up this morning with $100 extra in my pocket. I have no idea how either. Must've been the alcohol. yep, i shall blame it on that. Yeeesh. This is why I am glad I have a best friend i can trust. The only one I can trust, and having this person gives me the opportunity to get so shitfaced I won't remember the next morning. Because without this person, I would probably be a goody two shoes who will spend her weekends in a library.

Due to the state of exhaustion that my entire body is in, I am going to keep it light today. Maybe watch a movie or run some errands. Pet my cat. Oh, and possibly give myself a pedicure with this fabulous nail polish color I found.

O.P.I. Nail Lacquer in "I'm Not Really A Waitress"

Isn't that the greatest name? :)

Happy Hump Day.
xox rica


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